


The Truth That You Know

by jasmage



Category: Skip Beat!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Alternate Universe - Teachers, F/M, Fluff, Past Mogami Kyoko/Fuwa Sho, Romance, tsuruga ren technically doesnt exist in this universe lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:21:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26297812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jasmage/pseuds/jasmage
Summary: Kyoko is the new Transfiguration professor at Hogwarts, where she meets Kuon Hizuri, the Defence against the Dark Arts professor. Grudging co-workers and then something more, Kyoko and Kuon fall in love, moving forward together even as Kyoko's past catches up with her.-Kyoko conjured two glasses and gave one to Kuon. “To a fresh start?”Kuon gave her a smile and her heart stuttered. In the light of their new understanding and in the moon's forgiving glow, Kuon’s handsomeness was suddenly undeniable.
Relationships: Kotonami Kanae & Mogami Kyoko, Mogami Kyoko/Hizuri Kuon, Mogami Kyoko/Tsuruga Ren
Comments: 25
Kudos: 32





	1. Find me now, find me here

**Author's Note:**

> important notes:  
> -in chapter 1, Kyoko is the ONLY person born and raised in Japan. (just ignore everyone's japanese names lol) and yes she's fluent in English (will be explained later?? maybe?).  
> -tsuruga ren does not exist, there's only kuon! I'm trying to explore how else his character would have evolved and healed without acting as a coping mechanism
> 
> very loosely inspired by the bellarke fic "all we need to make it through" by coffee_grounders (read it here! -> https://archiveofourown.org/works/3465743/chapters/7606088)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _In my life, I’m no longer alone now that love in my life is so near  
>  Find me now, Find me here - In My Life, Les Miserables_

When she first stepped onto Hogwarts grounds, Kyoko felt a change in the atmosphere as if she had stepped onto an ice rink. The air tasted cold at this school, especially compared to the Mahoutokoro, which perched on a volcanic island near the southern end of Japan. This school, ‘ _Hogwarts_ ’ felt cold and heavy, yet free. Hogwarts was a castle after all, and its architecture was framed by a long history and adorned with heavy stone and enchantments. All around this intimidating structure was vast greenery; a lake, a forest and fields that seemed to extend endlessly.

Inside the school, the hallways and staircases felt like an evolving maze that extended immeasurably. Everything was tall— the doors, the arched windows and each new turret Kyoko spotted in her periphery, sprouting from another part of the castle.The heavy acrylic and oil paintings hanging on the walls moved and spoke. Their actions carried a different kind of fluidity than the Japanese prints Kyoko was used to. Back home, the art was flatter and the subjects usually travelled to a point deeper in the canvas than out. 

“I understand you’re aware of the apparition restrictions and other protective wards at Hogwarts,” Headmaster Takarada said as they walked past an odd fruit bowl portrait. Compared to the rest of the painting, the pear seemed remarkably faded as if hundreds of hands had rubbed at it.

He clapped Kyoko on the shoulder. “If you ever lose your way though, feel free to summon any house-elf for help. Your fellow professors and our upper-year students are pretty reliable too.”

Kyoko nodded and they continued down the hall.

“Your room is very close to the Transfiguration classroom, so you should have no trouble getting there. If you need a larger space for one of your lessons, we can have it arranged.”

They stopped in front of a heavy door with a single black hook that sat like a cyclops’ eye in the center of its wooden face.

“All your belongings should be inside already. Do you have any questions?”

Kyoko shook her head. “Most of my questions were already answered in our letters over the summer.”

Takarada nodded to himself. “Good, good. Let’s head in! And mind your step, Kyoko.” Even in the darkened hallway, his plum-coloured cloak and golden robes sparkled when he turned his back to her to push the door open.

Kyoko stepped down into the cozy room. Her quarters contained a single bed, an armoire and a large desk. Despite being in Hogwarts’ basement level, the sunset’s waning orange glow still streamed in through annular windows high on her walls. Her trunks and luggages were already stacked neatly and pushed against the foot of her bed. It was quiet and wholly her own. It was perfect.

“Now for the last part!” exclaimed Takarada while whipping his cloak about him. From the time Kyoko had spent with Headmaster Takarada, she was convinced that no matter what his blood status was, the need to be dramatic definitely coursed through his veins in high concentration.

Takarada tapped Kyoko’s door twice with his wand. Kyoko stepped out of her room and pulled a daruma doll from her handbag, hanging it onto the door’s hook. She heard a snap as the daruma’s enchantments fused with the rest of Hogwarts’s wards. 

Leaning in towards the doll Kyoko whispered, “ _Ōkabamadara._ ” The doll’s eyes flashed and its mouth emitted a deep groan as her room door swung closed. Like each house’s common rooms, or the headmaster’s tower, Kyoko’s private quarters were now password protected. 

“Voila!” Takarada cried. “Now the feast!” He began striding down the corridor, his magenta cloak flapping and twinkling behind him before he suddenly whirled back around. Kyoko, who had been following behind, walked into him and apologized, rubbing her nose. She looked up to find Takarada’s dark eyes bearing down on her with great scrutiny.

“The Welcome Feast is the initiation of many first years to their magical education, as well as your introduction to the rest of Hogwarts.” His eyes scanned her clothing. “Your muggle clothing is fine but, I recommend dressing in a manner that will bring you pride as the first teacher hired from Mahoutokoro to teach at Hogwarts— something with more flair.” 

“Oh yes! Of course! I’ll go change now.” 

Takarada grinned and nodded. “Very good! I’ll leave you to it then. Don’t get lost on your way to the feast!”

“I won’t,” she said before shutting her room door to change. 

Headmaster Takarada continued down the hallway, his stride long and easy. Hogwarts’ halls were still empty at the moment, but humming with anticipation for the new school year and the return of its students. Takarada returned to his office and retrieved the Sorting Hat. On his way to the Great Hall, Kuon confronted him in an empty corridor.

“So who’s the new Transfiguration professor? You never keep secrets unless you can gain pleasure from a grand, dramatic reveal.” Kuon fell in step beside the headmaster.

Takarada chuckled. “It’s in my blood. What is magic, but the science of surprise?”

Kuon shook his head. “Magic is definitely more than surprise. It’s an art and skill,” he said firmly. “But we’re getting off track. Many teachers, including myself, recommended people for this position. Skilled witches and wizards— Witches and wizards that were _Hogwarts alumni_.” Kuon looked pointedly at Takarada, who walked on. “You had dozens of British wizard folk applying. Why didn’t you hire someone more local?”

“How do you know so much about Professor Mogami already?”

“Maria.” They said simultaneously.

Takarada shook his head. “That girl,” he said, not unfondly.

Takarada clasped one of Kuon’s shoulders while brandishing the Sorting Hat with his other hand. “Why hire someone local when we can have someone different! Some fresh blood at the school would do us some good. New energy and new ideas are good for a place of learning, you know.”

Kuon quirked an unimpressed eyebrow.

The Headmaster huffed a sigh and even his moustache drooped. “You’re no fun, Professor Hizuri.” He walked on. “Fine. If you must know, Professor Mogami was recommended by an old colleague of mine, Takenori Sawara. A good wizard, although his stomach is a bit weak,” Takarada said thoughtfully. “Mr. Sawara is a Professor at Mahoutokoro and was Mogami’s teacher for a time. He recommended Kyoko’s expertise to me. I owed him a favour and now she’s here!”

Nepotism, Kuon thought with tired frustration. 

“If she's such a prized academic, she should have taught at Mahoutokoro. Why did she move across the ocean for this job? ”

"Hey! Hogwarts is a fantastic school. Any witch or wizard would be proud to teach here." Takarada frowned slightly. “And her personal life is none of our business. I did hear vaguely from Sawara that she got dumped, but he didn’t know any more details.” 

Nepotism _and_ running away from her issues. Kuon’s disapproval and annoyance at the new teacher throbbed in his chest. 

“Since you’re so curious about her Kuon, you can guide the new teacher to the Great Hall. You can ask her all your questions along the way.” They stopped at a corner by the Hogwarts kitchens and Takarada pointed down the hallway. He gave Kuon a firm pat on the shoulder. “She’s right down there. Make sure she doesn’t get lost on the way to dinner, that would be an awfully poor start to the year. Thank you!” Takarada strutted away before Kuon could get a word in, waving the ancient Sorting Hat in the air as a careless farewell behind him.

The Headmaster was long gone by the time Kyoko emerged from her room in a golden, short-sleeved _kimono_. It was patterned with storm petrels. The dark birds were small and seemed to twirl down the fabric of her skirt like inky petals as she rushed down the corridor. She hoped she wasn’t late.

A deep voice reverberated off the stone walls. “Running in the halls is discouraged, if not punished.” 

Kyoko turned. A tall man with blonde hair came into view and her heart immediately stuttered. She felt a cold sweat emerge on her back.

But it couldn’t be him. He would never come to Scotland. Not for her. 

“Are you Professor Mogami?” The man asked.

Kyoko released a breath and forced herself to focus. This man’s voice was wrong, different from _his_. From Sho's.

His hair was a natural blonde, not dyed. His eyes were a piercing green, and not dark brown. His expression was closed-off and cold. He didn’t know who she was, her favourite song, her birthday, hometown or even her name.

She bowed slightly towards him. “Yes, I’m the new Transfiguration professor. And you are…?”

The man strolled down the hallway like he was walking a runway. Grace and confidence radiated from his every step towards her. He wore a white dress shirt underneath a black waistcoat and emerald tie. His black pants accentuated his long legs that rapidly closed the distance between them. The black cloak on his broad shoulders added flair to his walk as it rippled out behind him.

She felt his gaze picking apart everything from the bobbed brown hair on her head and the clothing she wore to the short cherry wand in her hand. Kyoko was average height, but under his heavy stare her stature felt diminished. She felt evaluated and seen, yet unseen. It was an uncomfortable, prickly feeling.

He stopped in front of her. “I see. It’s nice to meet you Professor Mogami. My name is Kuon Hizuri; I teach Defence Against the Dark Arts.” He extended his hand and Kyoko grasped it. 

“Since we are colleagues, feel free to call me Mogami,” Kyoko smiled.

Kuon’s face remained cold. His blink was the only indication he had heard her. “Let’s head to the Great Hall. It’s nearly time.”

Kyoko nodded hurriedly and they began walking forward. “So, how long have you been teaching at Hogwarts?” Kyoko ventured.

“Longer than you.”

She laughed awkwardly. Were all people in the U.K. this cold?

“Of course you have,” Kyoko said. “I feel quite lucky and grateful that Hogwarts had an opening this year.”

He stopped abruptly and turned towards her, making Kyoko step back towards the wall.

“What made you move across the ocean to teach at Hogwarts?”

She realized his stare could be quite cutting. This man was capable of radiating a dangerous aura uncommon to teachers. She wondered briefly what his job had been before.

“No one— Nothing is left for me back home, so when I had the chance to leave, I took it.” She glared defiantly. 

“This isn’t a job you can do with just impulsive and reckless guts.” He stared down at her with reproach. “If you’re here for some kind of ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ getaway experience, you should leave now and refrain from wasting everyone’s time and energy.” 

With that, Hizuri turned and strode into the Great Hall, leaving her alone in the darkened corridor.

What a hateful man, Kyoko thought. He knew nothing about her! How could he stand there so arrogantly and make judgements about her life?!

Her furious march propelled her into the Great Hall, where she sat down at the High Table. Her and Professor Hizuri had entered from an archway tucked in a corner behind the High Table. Kyoko watched as older students streamed in and took seats at their House Tables from the hall’s main entrance.

Soon the first years arrived and they were sorted in a process fascinating for Kyoko to observe. Despite her impressive academic credentials, Kyoko could hardly begin to imagine the sort of ancient enchantments woven into the Sorting Hat’s fabric.

Once all the first years had gotten settled Headmaster Takarada suddenly summoned her to the center of the hall, where he insisted on giving her an ‘Honourary Sorting’. Apparently she “deserved a House family she could belong to”. 

He waved Kyoko over to the front of the hall where the Sorting Hat still rested on the stool. Sitting carefully onto the wobbling seat, Kyoko reflected on what she’d read in “Hogwarts: A History” as she surveyed the emerald, gold, azure and crimson decorated tables in front of her. The Gryffindors were gossiping and jostling each other. The Ravenclaws were a mixture of disinterest and curiosity. The Slytherins seemed to be… exchanging money? 

Her gaze crossed the room to the Hufflepuffs, but before she could observe anything, the headmaster stepped in front of her. The last thing she saw was Takarada’s wide smile as the Sorting Hat descended over her eyes. 

_Well, well, well. I see intelligence, a fierce soul and an extremely hard-worker. Definitely not Slytherin, but your strengths are well-balanced between the other three houses. However, your bright mind does not savour intellectual pursuits like a Ravenclaw. Your courage and ferocity are driven by other things. Mogami Kyoko, the clear choice is to put you in…_

“HUFFLEPUFF!”

The Sorting Hat was lifted off her head and a wave of cheers hit her from a table on the left. She heard a whoop from behind and turned around to see a cheery and round-faced teacher with golden-brown hair smiling at her. Kyoko stood up and stepped forward, clenching her hands. She faced the Great Hall as hundreds of eyes pinned her where she stood. 

“I—” The applause quieted and Kyoko cleared her throat. “I look forward to teaching at Hogwarts and am excited to join the wonderful community here.” She gave a slight bow and then walked back to her seat. She sat down heavily and missed the rest of Takarada’s speech as she took some deep breaths. 

A warm hand came down on her shoulder and Kyoko turned to see the round-faced woman smiling kindly at her.

“Are you okay? I understand this is a lot to take in, especially as a new witch to Scotland.”

“I’m alright. Headmaster Takarada definitely surprised me with my sorting though. He never said anything about it beforehand.”

“Yes, Takarada likes to go at his pace. He loves drama and surprises,” she chuckled. “Welcome to Hogwarts and the proud house of Helga Hufflepuff, Professor Mogami. I am the Head of Hufflepuff, Professor Yoshimoto. I teach Herbology...”

The rest of Kyoko’s evening was filled with lovely conversation with Professor Yoshimoto, who introduced her to the head of Ravenclaw, Kanae Kotonami (she taught Ancient Runes). After the feast, Takarada held a brief Start-of-Term staff meeting where Kyoko met the rest of the faculty. 

That night, Kyoko collapsed into bed. Too tired to be bothered by the unfamiliarity of her new home, she sank into her mattress and had a deep, dreamless sleep. 

* * *

Kyoko was diligent in her lesson planning and preparation so her classes went smoothly. There was only one problematic incident, when a first-year student let his mouse escape, which disturbed the rest of the class in the a series of chaotic mishaps during a lesson on transfiguring mice to snuffboxes. For the most part though, Kyoko felt like she was getting through to her students, but she’d have to wait to read more of their assignments and see exam results before being sure.

She always kept the words of the esteemed witch Gail Goodwin in the back of her mind: “Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater,” which lead to showing her students her animagus form. She sometimes stayed as a Monarch butterfly until the class was seated and wondering where their teacher was. Other times she showed them the entire transformation. For older students, she showed them her specialty, human transfiguration. She transformed parts of her body into any animal part they challenged and if they wanted to see an entire animal, she would gladly take on the task of turning her chalkboard into a lion, or a student’s desk into a phoenix.

Hogwarts was Kyoko’s stage to transform herself, and not just externally. She began by creating relationships and integrating herself with the rest of the Hogwarts faculty. Her and Yoshimoto often had tea together; sometimes older students would join them too. Yoshimoto seemed to be a sort of mother hen at the school— comforting, caring, and accepting of all. As Kyoko observed the seemingly endless supply of gratuitous care and love Yoshimoto could share and felt an emptiness inside of herself ache. The feelings Yoshimoto extended to everyone was absolutely selfless and genuine, while Kyoko as she was right now, could only hope to do an imitation of that. 

How could Yoshimoto give so much to everyone and still be so whole? How could Kyoko restore herself to be like that too? Was it even possible? Did she even want to?

Aside from Yoshimoto, Kyoko often found herself making lesson plans alongside Professor Kanae Kotonami. Kyoko and Kanae had been pushed together by both Takarada and Yoshimoto given that they were the two youngest professors at Hogwarts. Kyoko learned a lot in working with Kanae, but often wondered if Kanae wanted her there at all. She seemed like more of a lone wolf type. Fortunately, some of their ideals aligned and they would gleefully deride wizards featured in the Daily Prophet together.

And then there was Kuon Hizuri, Defence against the Dark Arts professor and a favourite of the student body. Aside from mealtimes, they never saw each other around the castle and that was a status quo Kyoko felt comfortable with. 

However, ‘status quo’ was not part of Headmaster Takarada’s vocabulary. Thus, Kyoko found herself intruding on Hizuri’s Duelling Club at Takarada’s behest one sunny Saturday afternoon. 

In the Great Hall, forty-some students were gathered to practice duelling, learn tips from Hizuri and watch him in action. Hizuri was a popular teacher, so it was a popular club. Kuon invited a different professor to help with demonstrations each week. The demonstration consisted of a duel between Kuon and the professor; sometimes Kuon even took student requests for his next professor-opponent.

This week’s competitor was Kyoko, at Takarada’s insistence. Kyoko was eager to settle the inexplicable animosity between them, but Hizuri seemed loath to even speak to her. He spent the entirety of his time before their duel talking to his club students and answering their questions. He made his good energy with his students a wall between them, so that Hizuri ignoring her was inconspicuous. He was an anomaly— he weaponized his personable quality into a wall that barricaded himself from the people with whom he didn’t want to speak (like Kyoko). Slytherin indeed, the cunning bastard… 

He appeared almost kind when he talked to the students, Kyoko thought. Kuon's kindness and charm seemed free for everyone but her. Not for the first time, Kyoko wondered what she had done to earn his hostility.

“Nervous?” Kanae asked from her spot. She was leaning on the wall next to Kyoko, who stood straight-backed and upright. 

“No. I’m ready to take him down.” Kyoko declared as she threateningly punched her right fist into her palm as if she was about to head into a muggle fight. 

Kanae snorted slightly before shrugging. “It wouldn’t hurt if Hizuri was taken down a peg. He’s won too many duels at this club.”

“He beat you, didn’t he?”

“I had a bad day,” Kanae scowled. "Besides he used to be an auror, so he's got years of experience on me."

Kyoko gawked. "You're telling me he used to be an auror _now_!?"

Kanae stared, nonplussed. "I thought you knew already!"

Kyoko put her head in her hands. "Oh no..."

"Hey! You better not chicken out. I bet money on you winning!"

Kyoko's head snapped up. "You bet money on me?"

Kanae crossed her arms and looked away, a furious blush on her cheeks. "You sounded really confident a couple of days ago and one of our colleagues was being annoying, so I took him up on his bet."

Kyoko saluted her friend. “Don’t worry. I’ll beat Hizuri and make you proud as your friend.”

The Ravenclaw teacher gave Kyoko a sideways grin. “Tear him to pieces.”

Headmaster Takarada called Professor Murasame over to referee, while Takarada sat on his throne at the front of the hall to watch. The dining tables had been pushed aside and now the students stood near the walls, while Kyoko and Hizuri faced each other in the center, wands held aloft. 

Kyoko was aware of her amateurism in this field, while Hizuri had been a professional auror for years. But she had her pride as a witch and the guts that had brought her all the way to Scotland. The same guts that he seemed to hate, for whatever reason. 

Kuon assumed his duelling stance, a slight variation of the traditional one taught at Hogwarts. Typically it was wand hand in front, with the wand nearly vertical in one's hand. The other hand aloft, palm out. Posture should be upright with a straight and solid back.

Kuon would use this positioning when demonstrating or duelling his students, unless they asked him to increase the difficulty, or he felt like getting serious, like today with Mogami. Thus, his stance shifted— he leaned forward slightly; his wand tipped downwards to point straight at Kyoko, rather than to the ceiling; and his empty left hand dropped down to his waist, curled but open, as if he expected someone to stuff a broom into it. 

Kuon’s auror mentor, Rick, had trained this stance into his body years ago. His positioning allowed Kuon to flow into offensive moves easier, not only for spells but also Kuon’s trump move— shifting his wand from his right to his left hand. Kuon was ambidextrous and very capable at duelling in either hand.

While Murasame reviewed the rules for the students, Kuon observed Mogami’s stance. She stood with her wand hand pointed straight at him too, but her stance was quite low, as if she was preparing to sprint at him. He noticed that today, she was wearing a hakama instead of her usual kimono.

Mogami bothered Kuon with her stubborn attitude and thoughtless guts. She didn’t seem to understand the importance of her position in students’ learning and development. For what purpose did she even come to Hogwarts, Kuon thought crossly. To kill time until she got homesick and could return to her third-rate boyfriend?

Kyoko was an irritating person to someone like Kuon whose very heart and soul was invested in each of his students, and the school itself. He disliked seeing her waltz around and pig-headedly step all over Hogwarts. Today, he intended to use this duel as an opportunity to crush her and show her the door (and may she never return).

Finally Murasame called the start of the duel. “The duel is over when either Professor Mogami or Professor Hizuri is disarmed, stunned, or yields.”

They bowed to each other and then Kuon shot two non-verbal hexes at her. Mogami dodged the first and shielded against the second. He noted her agility. In duels, witches or wizards tended to disapparate to avoid a spell, but Mogami had been cognizant of Hogwarts’ non-apparating wards, allowing her to react fast and appropriately. The mindfulness she demonstrated was no small feat.

Kyoko shot a silent stunner at Kuon, but he deflected easily. He returned with a non-verbal full body-bind curse but Kyoko shielded again.

He performed the bird-conjuring charm and sent Mogami a flock of angry sparrows. They hurtled through the air at her like feathered bullets, but in an impressive feat of transfiguration Mogami turned them all into butterflies in a split-second.

The winged insects flapped around her and while she was distracted Kuon shouted, “Serpensortia!”

The students watching the duel recoiled and gasped in horror as ten massive Black mamba sprang from his wand. They sailed through the air towards Mogami, except she had silently sent out _levicorpus_ to Kuon at the same time.

The result of these two colliding spells was ten black mambas being flung through the air and scattering around the room. Chaos erupted in the Great Hall.

Students shrieked and screamed while clambering onto tables or on top of each other to avoid the snakes weaving through their legs on the floor. Jets of light shot across the room as students tried to incapacitate the massive serpents.

Kuon and Mogami met eyes for a second before splitting up. They went back to back and observed the situation before springing to action. Headmaster Takarada was still seated, watching the chaos with glee, occasionally flicking his wand to aid helpless first years. 

This is what happens when the headmaster loves hands-on learning, drama, and beasts, Kuon thought with frustration.

He looked over and saw that Murasame had gathered a group of students behind himself and Kotonami was trying to herd them out of the Great Hall, but behind Murasame’s protection, the students were reluctant to leave since they now had a safe, front-row seat to the excitement.

Murasame couldn’t vanish the snakes through the fray of students. Kuon was dealing with a similar problem when he heard Mogami tell a student behind him, “Hiou Uesugi! Lend me your hat!”

He turned to see her grab a hat off a fifth-year Ravenclaw. Mogami transfigured it and Ren watched as the pointy tip of the hat extended and the wide rim shrank, until Mogami held a long black bag. She laid it onto the floor and levitated a snake into the bag. Once it was contained, Kyoko promptly vanished it.

Kuon was grudgingly impressed by her tactic. A simple but effective combination of muggle method and magic tools. Other students began trying to follow her lead and three more snakes went sailing into Kyoko’s bag at once. Kyoko vanished those, too.

Kuon immobilized several black mambas at once and cast a hover charm so he could vanish them all together in one floating mass. He focused and began, “Vipera Evan—” 

“Look out Professor Hizuri!” someone cried.

Kuon looked down to see a snake by his leg. An overeager first year stepped out and shouted, “Wingardium Leviosa!”

His spell missed and hit Kuon instead. Kuon felt his body shoot into the air, hover and then begin tumbling back down. His broken concentration resulted in his body and six snakes raining down towards the Great Hall’s stone floor together. 

“Ascendio,” Kuon said.

His body began rising instead of falling and he watched as Kyoko pushed students behind her before shouting, “Chorda Concinno!” Her wand tapped in the air five times and the airborne snakes became harmless pieces of rope.

Kuon was impressed again. He grit his teeth and kicked off a wall, silently ending the charm on his body and flipping through the air before landing on his feet. A couple students clapped at his acrobatics but he knew Mogami’s transfiguration was what really deserved the applause.

The Duelling Club session ended there and the teachers sent the students away. As the Great Hall emptied, Kuon spotted Mogami trying to sneak out. He called out her name and she froze, slowly spinning around to face him, reluctance written all over her face.

Kuon extended a hand for her to shake. "Thank you for helping out at my club today."

She eyed his open palm warily as it it were a venomous snake too. Then, she slowly slid her hand into his and gripped it. Her hands were warm and oddly rough, Kuon noticed. 

"It was my... pleasure?" Kyoko's face twisted at the final word and Kuon saw how it visibly pained her to say it. She shook his hand and nodded before slipping out with the rest of the crowd.

As he watched her leave, Kuon realized his perception of Mogami had shifted. She was a skilled witch and showed care for the students. Furthermore, for a witch who had come to Scotland on the coattails of a friend, her actions were very... Competent.

Kuon had always thought of Mogami as reckless and headstrong but now she exuded hesitation and awkwardness. Silently, his and Mogami's relationship was maturing, like the students they were surrounded by all day long. It was transitioning from grudging co-workers to something Kuon had yet to understand.

Did he anticipate or condemn this change? He wasn’t sure, but he did know that her cautiousness around him almost made him regret his cold attitude to date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Ōkabamadara (japanese) = Monarch butterfly


	2. And something has scarcely begun

The shift from Autumn to Winter swept through with biting winds and tumbling leaves. Kyoko was forced to surrender her typical kimonos in place of thicker British Wizarding clothing. She often wore light almond-coloured robes with gold detailing, since Kanae had told her that colour complimented her complexion during their trip to Gladrags.

Late November, Professor Yoshimoto got her hands on rare Toxic Jabbersnap seeds for an exclusive project with her seventh-years.

“They’re a close cousin of the Venomous Tentacula!” Professor Yoshimoto told Kyoko when she visited the Hufflepuff Head of House. Kyoko smiled and it was all she could do while Yoshimoto giddily shoved a stinking a pot in her face. The short bulbous plant was known for its hurtful words and even more hurtful poisonous leaves. The ones in Hogwarts' greenhouse emitted no sound however (they had been silencio’d), but their mouths moved, and within them Kyoko saw green teethless gums. They were like venus flytraps but with human mouths and a rounder head. Smiling was all Kyoko could politely manage in the face of this unsettling plant.

Quidditch season began and for the first time, Kyoko got to witness the escalation of inter-house rivalries. She often found herself separating students with leeks sprouting from their ears, or helplessly giggling children hit by particularly powerful _rictumsempra_ spells. Childish and silly conflicts became downright baffling the night before a Ravenclaw-Slytherin match.

During dinner, Kyoko watched as Hizuri asked Kanae for the salt and she quietly turned up her nose and shifted away from him. Hizuri narrowed his eyes and wordlessly summoned the salt towards himself, the glass salt shaker sliding across the table into his hand.

“Is this normal for everyone?” Kyoko whispered.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Kanae sniffed, daintily eating a bite of mashed potatoes.

“I just never expected even you, Kanae…”

“Even me, what?” Kanae hissed. “You never expected ‘even me’ to have house pride? I do! I have cauldron loads!”

To Kyoko’s shock, Kanae was flustered. Kyoko suspected this was a sore point with her, as the youngest Head of Ravenclaw. People tended to patronize and underestimate Kanae's abilities and her 'worthiness' at being the Head of Ravenclaw.

Kyoko shook her head, “No, I know you have a lot of house pride; you’re a brilliant Head. I just didn’t expect you to join in on the... tomfoolery?”

Kanae sighed. “As a student here, I was always too distracted by my future and the things I wanted to study to duel over house pride. But now as a teacher…” She gazed out at the Ravenclaw with a fond gaze. She combed a hand through her hair. “As a teacher I feel more protective and thoughtful of my students, I guess.”

Kyoko squealed and brought a hand up to her mouth. “Aww, you care!”

Kanae glared and pointed a fork at her. “Stop. Stay here long enough and you’ll find yourself doing this tomfoolery too.”

Kyoko laughed, “Maybe someday.”

The next day, Kyoko went down to the quidditch pitch all bundled up in preparation for the cold. She had not watched a single quidditch game since her youth in Japan. Quidditch came with unwanted memories— her younger self cheering a blonde blur as he shot through the sky, the glint of white teeth as Sho’s triumphant smile filled the sky and the sweet taste of strawberry pudding eaten afterwards. When they got older, that same sweetness transferred between them through kisses.

Kyoko clapped her cheeks to bring herself out of the nauseating flashbacks and walked faster to the teacher’s section in the stands. When she arrived, most of the seats had already been filled. This Ravenclaw-Slytherin game was the first one she had attended since coming to Hogwarts and Kyoko was only attending because Kanae had said that the game would be “kind of boring without her there”. Kyoko could feel their relationship’s progress from those words. (She felt super touched.)

“Kyoko, you made it.” Kanae beckoned her over and Kyoko shuffled past the other teachers to Kanae’s seat in the center.

“Yeah, I’m here. Go Ravenclaw!” Kyoko smiled weakly at Kanae. The sight of the pitch far below, the crowding of other watchers, and the rowdy audience were all sensory reminders of her nauseating past.

Kanae frowned. “Are you okay? You don’t look great.”

“If you’re going to watch the match then take a seat,” a low voice said.

Kyoko had been standing behind Kanae but now spun around to come face to face with Hizuri, who had been sitting directly behind Kanae. Kyoko was sandwiched between them, it seemed.

Despite this being the teacher’s section, and despite this being just a student sports game, the bleachers were wildly crowded. Kyoko had nearly smacked Hizuri during her turn and now the winter air clouded between them from the warmth of their breaths.

She nodded brusquely and swiveled her head left and right, unable to spot a vacant seat by Kanae. Kyoko sighed and shuffled slightly, only to trip over someone’s cloak. A pair of strong hands grabbed her by the shoulders and she heard Hizuri’s deep sigh.

“Sit here.” He shuffled over, leaving Kyoko a tiny space between him and Professor Taira Murasame, the Head of Gryffindor and professor for Care of Magical Creatures.

“Thanks.” Kyoko reluctantly sat down and gave Kanae a reassuring smile. The Ravenclaw teacher nodded and turned forward once more.

“Hi Mogami, how are you? Are you adjusting to Hogwarts alright?” Murasame asked. Kyoko confessed that she was worried she wasn’t getting through to her students. Murasame reassured her and they continued to make small talk until the game started.

The Ravenclaw and Slytherin chasers zipped back and forth between their opposite ends of the field, quaffle soaring through the air and voices soaring with it when the crowd cheered. Kyoko felt like a sardine whose can was being shaken harshly, as she was jostled left, right, front, and back by the people around her. They seemed to follow the action with both eyes and body as they leaned and pushed to see better.

Kyoko was sickened by how the students’ frenzy and awe seemed like reflections of her past self. Kyoko loosened her scarf. She clenched her robes. She put her hand over her mouth (breathing was difficult and bile seemed to be rising in her throat). The cheers increased in volume and she squeezed her eyes shut before another dozen players could shoot past her and give her motion-sickness too. Her head pounded fiercely.

Murasame leapt to his feet as a Ravenclaw chaser scored a particularly difficult goal. Kyoko’s body knocked into Hizuri’s and she grabbed onto him awkwardly.

“Are you alright?” Hizuri’s deep voice was like a steady boat in her internal storm, but Kyoko feared she was already drowning.

“I’m fine,” she croaked. She didn’t need him to see her being weak. She just needed to leave the stadium. Right now. As soon as she could walk without vomiting on everyone.

“You don’t look fine. You’re sweaty and pale. Your hair—”

“Woah, Mogami! Could you be a metamorphmagus? Your hair’s turning white!” Murasame shouted in surprise. “Are you using your hair as a flag of surrender on Professor Kotonami’s behalf?” he chuckled from somewhere above her.

Her hair was turning white? So much for abstinence from metamorphing, Kyoko thought before collapsing.

Kyoko woke in the Hospital Wing to the faces of Takarada, Yoshimoto and Kanae looking down at her. She gave them a small smile and Kanae sighed in relief.

“Next time just _tell me_ if you don’t want to go to a quidditch game. You didn’t have to push yourself so hard,” Kanae said. Her face contained a mixture of concern and frustration. Kyoko was touched by Kanae’s words for a second time; friendship was truly a beautiful thing.

“I’m glad it wasn’t anything too serious Kyoko,” Yoshimoto said with palpable worry in her tone.

“Thank you for worrying about me Yoshimoto.”

The kind older lady smiled down at Kyoko, “Please, call me Sen. We are friends!”

“Thank you Sen,” Kyoko answered shyly.

Headmaster Takarada quietly asked Yoshimoto and Kanae to leave. He sat down heavily in the chair beside Kyoko, who had moved to sit up in her bed.

“I can’t help keep your metamorphmagus ability a secret if you _reveal it yourself_ at a quidditch game.” His face was more stern than Kyoko had ever seen before.

“It was my mistake Headmaster. Usually I have better control over my emotions, but being sick made my body more susceptible to metamorphing. I rarely get sick too, so I’m not practiced in controlling my metamorphing when ill.” Kyoko sighed before admitting, “I also tend to suppress my pain and force myself to keep working, so my hair often turns white all at once when my body is pushed over the edge.”

“That makes sense.” Takarada stroked his chin thoughtfully before looking at Kyoko. The Headmaster was generally jovial and almost silly, but he could also impress an astounding level of pressure and perceptiveness. This was such a moment. His glare pierced straight through Kyoko and she felt like even her bones were visible to him under layers of muscles, veins and skin.

“So it is to my understanding that you collapsed, your hair turned white, and we are now in this hospital wing because you pushed your body past its limit? I would be more forgiving if I knew all this hard work was for your students, but Kyoko you throw yourself into your work for your own self-satisfaction.” Takarada sighed, and clasped his hands together. “Your hard work isn't for the students, it's to reassure yourself that you are 'being a teacher'. Your effort doesn't reflect concern for your students, it shows singular self-centered determination.” Kyoko felt a guilty chill slide down her spine at his words.

“Professor Mogami, you’re a professional and you must take better care of yourself,” Takarada continued. “I already told you that you can rely on myself or any other member of the faculty. ‘Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.’”

“I apologize for my lack of professionalism.” She bowed her head and clenched the blanket in her fists. “I will do better.”

Takarada patted Kyoko on the shoulder and she was startled by the warmth and comfort in the action. “The hospital matron has cleared you to begin teaching again on Monday, but if you need to take another couple of days to rest and recover, the matron can let me know. When I invited you to Hogwarts to teach, I never wanted you to drive yourself to collapse.”

Kyoko nodded mutely.

"And Kyoko a word of advice— strive to _be_ their teacher.” Takarada whirled his wand in erratic loops and giant sparkling pink hearts filled the hospital wing. “Love and care for your students! Build connections!” The hearts twinkled and scattered in pink sparks when they floated down to the floor.

“A 'perfect teacher' or a 'most effective' teacher is not what I seek from my staff. Find your heart as a teacher and what fuels you! How do you seek to inspire your students and what lessons do you want to leave them with?” His stare locked in on her.

“I recommend sitting in on other teacher’s classes,” Takarada said. “Observe them carefully. Your colleagues are interesting and good at what they do; I wouldn’t have hired them otherwise.” Takarada stood and Kyoko stared up at him. “If you can’t discover the answer to my question, then don’t expect to be invited back to Hogwarts next year.” 

“This is your homework, Professor Mogami and it’s due at sunset on the last day of the school year. Discover your heart as a teacher and show me you can teach beyond teaching!” He winked at Kyoko and swept out of the room, leaving her in the dark, alone, and with less job security than before.

* * *

Monday morning, Kyoko asked Kanae for details about the events between her collapse and when she woke up.

“I performed a diagnosis charm as soon as you collapsed and it indicated stress, fatigue, and overwork. Since it wasn’t some kind of deadly disease, we kept the quidditch match going. Hizuri brought you and your things to the Hospital Wing and Yoshimoto and I followed. Takarada, Yoshimoto and I waited for you to wake up. A couple other teachers like Murasame came by to check on you too, but he couldn’t stay for long because he had to check on his creatures and do some work. Hizuri left as soon as he dropped you off and didn’t come back.”

So Hizuri had helped her. Kyoko was surprised, grateful, and irritated. Her Slytherin colleague was an anomaly— cold and unfriendly, but also helpful and well-liked.

“Why did Hizuri bring me? I thought he’d rather levitate a blast-ended skrewt into his bed than help me to the Hospital Wing.”

Kanae shrugged. “Beats me. Maybe he doesn’t hate you as much as you thought.”

Kyoko shook her head. “No, he definitely dislikes me.”

“Okay, then maybe it’s because you’re his coworker and it was the polite thing to do. Hizuri is a bit standoffish, but he wouldn’t ignore someone who needs help. He used to be an auror, you know. Those guys have righteous streaks.”

“I didn’t know that! I wonder what made him change careers...” Despite her shock, Kyoko could picture it clearly. A dashing blonde leaping in front of children and damsels in distress, duelling fiercely. Kyoko’s imaginings reminded her of Hollywood action movies— she could clearly picture Kuon as a hero coolly walking away from twenty defeated bad guys laying on the ground behind him.

Kanae and Kyoko finished the rest of their breakfast quietly.

* * *

Kyoko resolved to thank Hizuri for his help that evening, but then the day ended. As did the following day and the next, and so on. It wasn’t until Friday evening after dinner that Kyoko finally got a chance to thank Hizuri alone.

He was walking down the corridor away from the Great Hall when Kyoko seized his shoulder and pulled him to a stop.

“Hizuri, hi.” Kyoko began, letting go of Kuon’s shoulder while he stared down at her. “I, uh, I wanted to thank you for helping me to the Hospital Wing last Sunday,” she ground out.

Hizuri shrugged and Kyoko almost hated how elegantly he could roll his broad shoulders in that single motion.

“I didn’t do much, I just performed a levitation charm. Any first year could have brought you.”

“Yes, well you did the charm, so I’m thanking you. You can take it or leave it.” Kyoko whirled around to walk away but then she felt Hizuri grab her wrist.

“Wait. I have some things I’d like to ask you. Do you have some time right now?”

Kyoko turned around slowly. This was a first. She nodded.

Hizuri led the way to his classroom and waved her in. Moonlight streamed in through the windows along the left wall. Rectangles of pearly-white light fell onto the rows of desks, a wardrobe, and Hizuri’s table at the front of the class. The room was marginally warmer than the drafty corridor. It smelled of chalk with a woody pine undertone.

Kyoko realized the room and Kuon shared a scent, but that was hardly surprising since it was his classroom. What was surprising was that Kyoko had noticed his scent at all. Uncomfortably, she wondered when this fact had sunk into her head.

Kuon pulled out a chair from behind a student’s desk and hung his cloak on the back of it . He took a seat and Kyoko followed suit. Kuon leaned forward and his dark waistcoat crinkled slightly. The watch on his wrist glinted, reflecting the moonlight.

The room's silence cleaved like butter under the blade of Kuon's voice. “Professor Mogami... Kyoko, if I may call you that...” he began hesitantly.

Kyoko nodded at him to continue.

“Kyoko, why did you push yourself to the point of collapse? Are you really that passionate about teaching?”

Slowly, Kyoko shook her head. “I can’t say I am, but I have a tendency to devote all of myself to the things I do, teaching included.”

Kuon tilted his head and his emerald eyes peered at her. “But surely there’s no need to push yourself so much. Takarada handed you this job on a silver platter, so I doubt he’s going to take it away anytime soon.”

Kyoko laughed in surprise. It was an abrupt sound with a keenly bitter edge. “No, no. I don’t know where you got that idea, but I applied and earned this job. There’s no way a _muggleborn, foreign witch_ would have been _handed_ this job. Unless that’s a frequent occurrence I’m unaware of?”

Kuon shook his head.

“My situation is the opposite of what you say,” Kyoko explained. “This past weekend Takarada actually said I’ll get fired if I don’t ‘find my teacher's heart’ soon enough, or something. I have to discover my drive as a teacher.” Kyoko heaved a deep sigh, tracing a figure on her leg, the kimono fabric creasing where her finger pressed. I’m having trouble figuring out what he actually wants. An essay? A report? Good grades from my students?” Kyoko shook her head and her finger paused on her thigh.

She was unaware of how Kuon’s mind was racing next to her as he tried to connect what she said to what he knew.

“Hold on, Takarada told me that he owed a wizard, Professor Sawara, a favour and that’s why you’re here.” Kuon had thought Kyoko was simply a prodigious witch given the job at a famous wizarding school with little prior teaching experience and many cauldronfuls of connections. A witch that sought to escape her messy life in Japan by flitting to Scotland for a short time, before someone cleaned up her mess and she could return. Someone neither respectful of, nor committed to her teaching job and Hogwarts’ students.

Kyoko gaped at him and Kuon would have laughed if he wasn’t so confused.

“Did you think that I—” Kyoko shook her head furiously. “No! It’s true that Headmaster Takarada owed my old Professor a favour, but the Headmaster just helped me move my belongings over from Japan to Hogwarts, since international wizard customs can be troublesome. The Headmaster also paid for my flight, but that was part of being hired. My application, interview, and my being hired were all separate from the Headmaster’s favour to Professor Sawara.”

Kyoko seemed as puzzled by Kuon’s questions as he was by her answers.

Their perception of each other was a tapestry woven by threads of misconception, judgement and misplaced hostility, and it was finally unravelling. Those knotted strings were being combed true and disentangled by their honest words. The image they had possessed of one another was shifting in the light, and their relationship was being woven anew.

“Did you even come here to escape a messy breakup?” Kuon finally asked.

“No, not really.”

“I’m sorry...” Kuon said in a steady voice, looking Kyoko in the eyes. “I’ve treated you coldly because I thought you were an upstart witch that got here through connections. I also thought you only came to get away from a messy breakup.”

She was dumbfounded. She still felt the claws of bitterness on her heart, but she was conscious of the fact that Kuon would be her co-worker for the long foreseeable future. And honestly, his sincere apology had soothed much of the tension she felt towards him. His odd questions made sense now and she saw where he had been misled in the past.

“Thank you,” Kyoko finally said. She conjured two empty glass tumblers and gave one to Kuon. “To a fresh start?”

Kuon gave her a smile and her heart stuttered. In the light of their new understanding and in the moon's forgiving glow, Kuon’s handsomeness was suddenly undeniable.

They clinked their glasses. 

Kuon stood. “Hold on, I have something for this occasion.”

He entered his office and she heard another set of doors open and shut, then the clinking of cups. He re-emerged with a bottle of firewhisky, its amber body sloshing in a large crystal bottle.

Kyoko gaped, and a corner of Kuon’s lip tilted up at her reaction. She saw the ghost of a smirk there and it was a new, refreshing side to him she hadn’t seen before, albeit annoying (but not unpleasant).

“I assume you drink firewhisky?” Kuon sat next to Kyoko and poured a glass for each of them.

“Is this even allowed?” Kyoko asked.

“What?” Kuon took a sip from his glass and Kyoko watched his Adam’s apple bob.

“Drinking alcohol _in your classroom _.” Her eyes darted around fearfully as if she expected the Headmaster to jump out from behind the wardrobe and cry, “Aha! I’ve caught you!”__

__“It is, don’t worry. Drinking for teachers is permitted after hours on our own time, but we can't go too wild.” Kuon leaned back in his chair, crossed his legs and put his hands in his lap. Despite his tall stature and the small chair, Kuon managed to look like he was lounging comfortably._ _

__Kyoko nodded in relief and took a small sip of her whisky. What a strange night._ _

__Suddenly a loud thump came from the wardrobe at the front of Kuon’s class. Kyoko jumped up and dropped her glass, but Kuon sprang forward and caught it in his hand._ _

__“It’s just a boggart for my third years,” he reassured her._ _

__Kyoko gasped in delight and walked over to the wardrobe, laying a hand on the dark wood. It felt cool to the touch, even as it shook slightly._ _

__“Wow! You have a boggart here?”_ _

__“Why are you so shocked? You have them in Japan too, surely.”_ _

__Kyoko shook her head. “I’m not shocked, I just admire boggarts a lot.”_ _

__Hizuri’s silent confusion prompted her to explain further._ _

__“They’re the true masters of transfiguration! Sure I have a mastery in the subject, plus I’m an animagus and a metamorphmagus, but boggarts are the only creatures that can truly transform themselves with no boundaries.”_ _

__“Yes, they can transform into anyone’s greatest fear.” Kuon placed grave emphasis on the last word._ _

__Kyoko spun around and even in this room’s darkness, Kuon could see how her eyes sparkled in excitement and the moonlight made her pale face glow. She was the night sky all alone._ _

__“Exactly. They can transform into _anything _. I can turn into a huge lion, or an armchair or even the smallest butterfly, but a dementor? Or a thestral?” Kyoko sighed with admiration. “Boggarts have such fluid and complete transformations, not only in appearance but also movement, behaviour and atmosphere— they completely embody what they become. Transfiguration requires precision and calculations that are rewarding when you do them right, but they can also be restrictive.”___ _

____“So says the youngest metamorphmagus and witch to ever get a transfiguration mastery,” Kuon teased._ _ _ _

____Kyoko gave an embarrassed shrug. “Good transfiguration and being a metamorphmagus are different.”_ _ _ _

____The silence stretched and became taut. Kuon was just silently watching her and she did the same. The air between them previously thick with antagonistic tension now held tension of a different sort. It made Kyoko feel twitchy._ _ _ _

____“Would you like to sit in on my boggart lesson?” Kuon didn’t know what he was saying, but he knew he still felt bad for the way he had treated Kyoko. He also knew that with their misunderstandings out of the way, he was curious about who she really was. What she was doing here. Why she suddenly wouldn’t look at him. If her cheeks were rosy from the whisky, or something else._ _ _ _

____“I do a simple practical lesson with my third years: I show them how to use the 'Riddikulus' spell and then they line up and do it one by one. Of course they do it behind a screen so their classmates don’t see their fear. Normally only the student and I are behind the screen, but with their permission, you could come watch their boggart transformations too."_ _ _ _

____"I'd love to," Kyoko smiled. "If I may ask, why do you use a screen during the lesson?"_ _ _ _

____"It's to protect the students. Nobody deserves to have their weakness publicly exposed.”_ _ _ _

____“And you do?" Kyoko tilted her head to the side questioningly. "All your students see your boggart when you demonstrate the spell. Isn't it difficult being so open and vulnerable?”_ _ _ _

____“It is difficult..." He slowly admitted before he looked out the window. Although his body was close, his mind seemed somewhere too far for Kyoko to reach._ _ _ _

____"An experience from my time as an auror makes my boggart difficult for me to face, but Headmaster Takarada encouraged me to do this exercise with my students; it's an effective way to teach the spell. My pride and passion as a teacher pushed me to overcome my mental obstacles so that now I can comfortably show them my boggart and hold up against their questions."_ _ _ _

____He looked at Kyoko. "Didn't a passion for teaching bring you to Hogwarts too?"_ _ _ _

____"Not exactly. I left Japan to carve out my own path in life and to make something of myself, but I am dedicated to this school and the students here." Kyoko smiled gently and laid a hand on her upper-left chest. “Lately, I think teaching is filling a hole within myself.”_ _ _ _

____Kuon had never seen Kyoko show such a gentle expression before. He nodded at her words and took a dazed sip of whisky. "It's getting late. May I walk you back to your room?"_ _ _ _

____Kyoko was a bit shocked by his gentlemanly manner. It was a huge turnaround from his prior behaviour but she agreed._ _ _ _

____Kyoko wasn’t sure if they walked a bit closer together because of the whiskey, the cold or their new companionship, and she didn’t care. She just enjoyed their new calm as they quietly chatted and strolled down the long hallways to Kyoko's room together._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to post weekly on Saturday nights (Pacific Standard Time), but school has started so my posting schedule might get irregular. I'm aiming for no longer than two weeks between posts.
> 
> Hopefully Kyoko's backstory will start coming out next chapter!!!


	3. Have you been too much on your own?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for everyone that left comments, kudos, bookmarked or subscribed!!!  
> btw chapter titles are all coming from the song "In My Life" from Les Mis because that song was a big inspiration for this fic so :)  
> @Grayfall15 it's our boy Yashiro!!

“Last week you were complaining about this woman and now you’re telling me you’ve invited her to hang out in one of your classes?” Yashiro threw his head back and laughed.

Kuon’s office, normally a quiet haven for work or student counselling, filled with the sound of Yashiro’s snickers. 

Kuon glared at his former auror partner and sighed. “I know that Headmaster Takarada wants her to sit in on other professors' classes, and since she has such an interest in boggarts. inviting her to my lesson is the least I could do as a good colleague.”

Yashiro quirked a disbelieving eyebrow at his friend.

“...And because I treated her unfairly for a while,” Kuon reluctantly admitted.

In a rare bout of seriousness that brought to mind Yashiro’s Slytherin school days, the man said, “You could have just taken her out to dinner.” He leaned forward in his seat as his eyes glinted with cunning. He drew a circle in the air around Kuon’s face, encompassing it. “It’s not like you’re unaware of your charm. Assuming she’s a straight woman, all you have to do is drop some flattery at her to rectify the situation,” Yashiro purred, his voice low. “You and I both know this, so why are you going through all this trouble to get her in your class? Getting your students to sign all these permission forms, et cetera.”

Kuon crossed his arms. “She’s different.” Kyoko was a strange entity Kuon had never encountered before. Wickedly smart, determined, and fearless in a way he would never expect a professor representing Hufflepuff to be. She was not a sorceress that would fall easily. Not in a duel or otherwise.

Yashiro’s eyes glinted with mischief. “All these things you’re doing make me wonder, Kuon, did this Professor Mogami really bother you, or are you bothered _by_ her? I can’t wait to meet this woman.”

“You won’t.” Kuon said, his voice flat.

“Why not?” Yashiro grinned, rising from his seat and heading to the door. He was stopped by Kuon seizing the back of his collar and shoving him towards the fireplace.

“Get going, your lunch break is almost over. Besides, it’s winter break and she went home for the holidays,” Kuon lied without a hint of guilt.

Kuon wasn’t entirely sure what kind of situation would arise from Kyoko and Yashiro meeting, but he knew it wouldn’t be a pleasant one (for him). 

Yashiro huffed in mock petulance. “Fine, but this conversation isn’t over!” Yashiro threw some floo powder into the fireplace and called, “The Ministry of Magic!” Then stepped through the emerald flames. 

Kuon watched his friend leave with a tiny smile on his lips, before sitting back at his desk. He had to finish writing the permission notice for Kyoko’s intrusion on the boggart exercise since his class with the third-years was only days away.

A couple hours later, he heard a knock at his office door.

“Come in,” Kuon called.

An angelic face surrounded by gently curling brown hair peered into his office.

“Kuon!” Maria Takarada called happily, before bounding into his office and standing next to him.

“Maria, at school it’s ‘Professor Hizuri’.”

The Gryffindor first-year pouted. “It’s hard to stop. I’ve called you Kuon my whole life, but I’ve only been at Hogwarts for a couple months!” Maria put her hands on her hips. “And if I have to call you Professor Hizuri, then you should call me ‘Miss Takarada’!”

Kuon nodded, “You’re absolutely right, Miss Takarada.”

“You don’t have to start right away…” Maria grumbled.

Kuon stood, ruffling her hair. “Shall we head to the Great Hall, Miss Takarada? It’s nearly dinner time.”

Kuon listened to Maria talk excitedly about her new classes and friends. She seemed to be enjoying Hogwarts even though its novelty should have long since worn off for her. Her grandfather was the Headmaster, after all. When Maria’s mother died, her grandfather became her primary caretaker and Hogwarts became her second home.

Kuon had met Maria on his first day on the job and she had latched onto him quickly. Kuon later found out from the Headmaster how rare this was. As a young child, Maria had often been sensitive and prickly. With the exception of Kuon, hardly any people were welcomed into her life immediately.

From the sound of Maria’s stories though, she seemed to have no trouble adjusting to school life or making friends. Kuon was grateful Maria had joined the more straightforward Gryffindor crowd, rather than his own Slytherin house; the scarlet-clad students seemed to be healing for Maria. Her walls were coming down.

At the doorway to the Great Hall, Kuon watched as Maria spotted Kyoko and ran up to her. Both teacher and student brightened, chatting away while Kyoko walked Maria to the Gryffindor table. There, she greeted some of her other students.

Leaning over Kyoko’s shoulder, Kuon said in her ear, “I see you’re playing favourites already, Professor Mogami.”

An odd yelp escaped from her mouth as Kyoko slapped a hand over her ear and leapt back. The Gryffindor table laughed as Kyoko glared resentfully at Kuon.

“I’m not playing favourites!” she squeaked. Her arms dropped stiffly to her sides and she nodded her head once at the Gryffindors. “Have a good dinner, students.” Then she marched off to the High Table.

Shoulders shaking with repressed laughter, Kuon followed. His long legs easily recovered the distance between them and he noticed that Kyoko only came up to his shoulder.

Walking side by side, Kuon and Kyoko were the picture of contrast. Her short stature that glided through the great hall in her pale, almond-coloured, loose flowing robes with gold detailing next to his sharply cut suit in its inky black colour— his cloak the only nod to wizarding fashion.

Kuon pulled out Kyoko’s seat at the High Table, then sat himself next to her. They bantered throughout dinner, unaware of the Headmaster’s watchful eyes upon them.

Finished with her meal, Kyoko wiped her mouth with a napkin and turned to Kuon. “It doesn’t even make sense for me to have favourites in Gryffindor! I’m affiliated with Hufflepuff, so isn’t that where my ‘favourites’ would be, if any?”

“Historically, no. There used to be a Slytherin professor that favoured talented students regardless of their house and when the students graduated and became successful, he would often receive benefits from them.”

Kyoko huffed. “Still, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mislead the students. I am committed to treating everyone equally.”

Kuon leaned his head onto his palm and gazed at Kyoko with warmth. “Yeah, I know.”

Kyoko blushed furiously and looked back down at her plate. Kuon’s emerald eyes felt dangerous, like a bed of Devil’s Snare waiting to drag her into its depths.

“Enjoy the rest of your meal,” she said, standing and marching stiffly away, with her arms and legs swinging in sync.

“Halt, Professor Kyoko!”

Kyoko turned and was beckoned over to the Headmaster with redness still staining her cheeks.

Professor Murasame leaned over to Kuon.

“Kyoko is pretty cute, huh?”

They watched together as the Headmaster discussed something with her. Kuon took a silent drink of water while Taira prattled on. He didn’t like where Taira was going with this conversation.

“I mean at Hogwarts you can never really know who or what the next teacher could be, right? Anything from centaurs to half-giants. I bet Takarada would even let a dark wizard teach here for the drama,” Taira chuckled. “Did you know Kyoko came by to watch my class a while ago?”

Kuon’s glass froze on its way back to his mouth and he set it down with a thud. “No, I didn’t know that.”

“I was doing a lesson on flobberworms when Kyoko popped by. Flobberworms are alright, but not super impressive, right?” Taira looked expectantly at Kuon for a response, but he said nothing.

“Anyway, I invited her to come by again when I’ve got the porlocks for my fifth-years. Oh shoot,” Taira paused, dropping his fork on his plate with a clatter. “I should have invited her to the bowtruckles lesson instead! Women like cute creatures...” Taira shook his head at himself.

Kuon stood and gave Professor Murasame a firm pat on the back. “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.”

Taira was oblivious to the less than friendly expression Kuon had on when he left. For some reason, Kuon was more irritated by Taira than normal.

Kuon was turning to leave when Kyoko met his eyes. A beat passed between them and Kuon stopped to wait for Kyoko to finish talking to Takarada. 

“Yoshimoto— I mean Sen,” Kyoko corrected as she walked up to him, “is ill tonight, so I’m taking over her patrol shift. She meant to show me her route this week, but since she’s stuck in the infirmary, Takarada said you could show me instead.”

Kuon nodded and they exited the Great Hall together.

Headmaster Takarada had also mentioned some other things during his and Kyoko’s conversation, but those were for herself to figure out. She’d finally worked up the nerve to discuss with Takarada about her true reason for coming to Hogwarts— using the Pensieve.

The Pensieve was a rare and expensive item in the wizarding world. At Hogwarts, it had been passed down from headmaster to headmaster since it was initially brought to the school by the first headmaster. Word was that Takarada's office held the bottled memories of centuries of headmasters, with each one passing down key memories that held wisdom for the next wizard or witch responsible for the school.

Kyoko had no interest in those memories however. Locked tightly away within layers upon layers of safeguarding enchantments was a case of vials filled with the silver memories of her mother. Kyoko had pulled them from her mother’s mind right before she’d obliviated the reality of magic, before she’d obliviated _her own existence_ from that mind.

Even as an adult, Kyoko had clung to the delusion that it was possible for her to make her mother proud. Thus, when she’d become the youngest witch to ever receive a Transfiguration mastery, she’d mustered up all her courage and apparated to her mother’s law firm to tell her the good news. 

Perhaps being introduced to the wide world of magic as a child had permanently swayed Kyoko into believing in the fantastical and unreal. Perhaps it was Kyoko’s own nature to believe in miracles, but whatever it was, no such thing occurred that afternoon in Japan.

Kyoko had patiently explained the world of magic to her mother and the significance of earning a mastery in Transfiguration at 23 years old. Throughout it all, Saena Mogami’s face had remained impassive.

_  
Kyoko faltered, her hands clenching around her copy of “International Transfiguration News”. On the cover, Kyoko’s photographed-self gazed meekly out at her mother._

_“Magic.” Saena Mogami’s gaze showed deep displeasure even as her face stayed frozen. “I didn’t have high expectations when I sent you to the Fuwa family, but I can’t believe they didn’t even teach you the difference between real-life and fantasy.”_

_“Magic is real. I can show you,” Kyoko said. Wordlessly, she waved her wand and the teapot between them turned into a tortoise. Both mother and daughter silently watched the tortoise creep slowly towards the table edge, before Kyoko waved her wand again, and the tortoise became a teapot once more._

_It teetered on the edge of the table, before it’s spout tipped and the teapot fell to the floor, shattering on Saena’s office floor._

_Saena’s eyes drifted down to the floor, watching the auburn liquid pool on the linoleum tiles, under and around her heels. Her eyebrows furrowed and Kyoko held her breath._

_Saena pulled the Transfiguration journal towards her and flipped through it._

_Kyoko watched as her mother, a muggle being introduced to magic for the first time, remained stoic even as she saw moving photographs for the first time and read the discourse at the forefront of Transfiguration._

_She paused on an article about the International Wizarding Confederation’s most recent Transfiguration ethics decrees._

_“Does your kind have some kind of judicial system in place?”_

_Hesitantly, Kyoko replied, “Yes.” She felt a chill run through her body, an instinctual sense of foreboding rising within her._

_Saena’s cold eyes flicked up. “Is it legal for you to tell me all this information about your world?” She set the Transfiguration journal on the table and slid it back to Kyoko. On the cover, a small Kyoko was hiding behind text— ‘A thirteenth application for dragon blood? Flip to page 46 to learn more.’— anxiously peering out._

_“Yes, it’s legal because you’re my mother.” Kyoko’s immense confusion at Saena’s words was obvious, as if a giant question mark was stamped on her forehead._

_Even now, this child is still the same, Saena thought._

_“There must be contingencies for when normal people find out about your kind. What are they?”_

_“Generally, we use a memory removal charm.” Kyoko’s eyes widened with hurt as she finally understood what Saena meant to ask._

_Saena sipped calmly at her tea. “Does the memory removal hurt very much?”_

_I should lie to her, Kyoko thought, even while her own mouth spoke, “No.”_

_Saena set down her tea cup and stared her daughter in the eyes. “Please perform it on me. I’d like my memory of this afternoon with you erased. I’d like all my memories of you removed, in fact.”_

_Kyoko thought she had been prepared to confront her mother. Prepared for the coldness, the disapproval and yet this was on a level she had never fathomed._

_Kyoko could not speak._

_Saena raised her teacup to her lips again. “I’d like it done today if possible. Will we have to meet another afternoon to do this? Will it take long?”_

_Kyoko could not breathe. “I…”_

_Her mother peered at her. “Can you do it or not? I thought you were good at magic. Isn’t that what you came here today to tell me?” Indifference dripped from her words, but Kyoko could detect the tiniest disconnect in her mother’s apathy, because she was a self-certified expert in her mother’s expressions and mannerisms, after all._

_Even with a decade of time between them, Kyoko could still tell one frozen expression of disapproval from a stilled expression of frustration. In that moment, her mother’s breaths had become infinitesimally uneven in a way Kyoko had never heard before. They had an air of hope to them._

_Kyoko’s eyes drifted down to the magazine between them. She saw that ‘she’ had left the cover entirely and wished desperately that she could follow. She wanted to rewind time to before this afternoon, this conversation. But then again, if she could rewind time, Kyoko would have gone back to her childhood, to a time when perhaps she could have gained her mother’s love._

_Looking at the woman across from her now though, Kyoko knew that was an entirely hopeless desire._

_Her stomach clenched a new yet old sickness roiled within it. This anxiety was familiar from her childhood days, but now it had a new flair to it. “Time heals all wounds”, but not chronic diseases it seemed._

_“I... I can do it, but it’s very complicated. You’d have to move to a new workplace, probably. Cut off ties with all your friends. Because even if I erase your memories, I can’t erase the memories of everyone you’ve ever told about me.”_

_Saena sipped her tea calmly. “That won’t be a problem. I never told anyone about you and cutting off ties with the Fuwa family is easy enough now that you’re older.”_

_Kyoko was always amazed at her mother’s capacity for apathy, but today truly stood out. This would be an afternoon to remember. For herself, alone, to remember._

_“Why do you have to go so far? Why do you hate me?”_

_Saena paused. “I don’t hate you. You’re simply the product of a time in my life that I deeply regret.”_

_Kyoko’s eyes widened in shock. “What happened?”_

_“When you take my memories, you can see for yourself,” Saena said. “Can you do it?”_

_For the first time in her life, Kyoko Mogami saw vulnerability in Saena Mogami. “It would be a great favour to me,” Saena said. Her countenance hadn’t shifted at all, but Kyoko could see in the clarity and hope in Saena’s eyes, fragility. “I haven’t been a mother to you, but if you do this for me, perhaps we could meet once again and have an amicable relationship. The way we are now though,” Saena’s weakness shuttered away with a blink, “it could never happen.”_

_“But even if I have you in my life then, it wouldn’t be the you that is my mother.”_

_“I am fully cognizant of giving birth to you now, and I’m still not in your life,” Saena stated_

_Kyoko flinched._

_More gently, Saena added, “This memory removal is what’s best for you and for me.”_

_“What about my father?” Kyoko asked._

_Saena sighed and sipped her tea, her brows furrowing. “That man… I don’t even know where he is. When you take my memories, you can take those I have of him, too. Our history, the circumstances of your birth and why I regret the events that surrounded your birth… You can know them all.”_

_The allure of a peaceful future with her mother, of the possibility of meeting up with her as equals and chatting happily… The allure of knowing her father’s identity and her mother’s history… The irresistible temptation of finally understanding her existence (the rejection of it)._

_“Okay,” Kyoko said. She pulled out her wand and summoned various vials, carefully extracting memories._

_Then in a broken whisper, “Obliviate.”_

__

To access those memories, Kyoko needed a Pensieve and Hogwarts just so happened to have one. The stars had aligned, forming a sparkling constellation pointing Kyoko across the ocean, into Hogwarts’ safe stone walls. However, only ‘trusted Hogwarts staff’ were permitted to use it and that required working at Hogwarts for a minimum of two years. 

As Kyoko pondered on this new revelation, Kuon watched her. Her mind was clearly preoccupied but with what? What could possibly have such a strong grip on her thoughts— her brilliant mind? He wanted to ask. 

“Teachers tend to patrol close to where their House’s common room is. Have you been shown the Hufflepuff common room?” Kuon said instead.

Kyoko’s head snapped up as if she had just remembered that Kuon was walking her through Yoshimoto’s patrol route, which she was supposed to be memorizing. She blushed and looked away, “Yes, I have.”

“Good. You patrol around the basement and ground floor. I usually patrol the dungeons and entrance area. For you, you should be on the lookout for students breaking curfew to sneak snacks from the kitchen.”

“And what do you look out for?” Kyoko asked.

“Students fooling around in shadowy corners, alcoves or empty classrooms. They can get very creative.”

Kuon continued showing her Yoshimoto’s patrol area and all its tricky spots. If his tour took a needlessly long time, well, Kuon was just being thorough. 

“My third-years are starting on boggarts soon. If you’re still interested in surveying my class, you’re welcome to drop by.” Kuon commented towards the end of the tour.

Kyoko beamed at him. “Of course I am! I’ll come by once the Christmas holidays are over.”

“Good.” Kuon paused, his conversation with Taira unpleasantly clawing its way to the front of his mind. “I wasn’t sure you were still coming by, since you went to Taira’s class already.”

“Taira…” Kyoko’s eyebrows scrunched briefly. “Oh yes, Professor Murasame! His lesson aligned with my prep period, so I stopped by. Takarada insists I sit in on as many different classes as I can and ask teachers what inspires them. If I could, I’d get away with only viewing Yoshimoto, Kanae and your lessons.”

The knot in Kuon’s body released at this information, while a balm of smugness spread across his chest, easing the discomfort inside.

Abruptly, Kyoko asked Kuon, “Are you sure you’re okay with me seeing your boggart? Aren’t you worried I’ll use your fear against you?”

A shadow fell across his face. “Now that would be a very Slytherin thing to do. I’d actually be impressed if you did.” His reply dripped with wicked mischief and Kyoko gave him a flat stare before brightening.

“I know! How about I show you my boggart, then we’ll be even!”

He raised an eyebrow, but nodded. Fairness through and through, it seemed. What a stellar Hufflepuff. Distantly, Kuon wondered how he could use her reciprocative nature to his advantage.

“Fantastic! I’ll see you tonight after patrols.” Kyoko smiled at him before breaking off to her patrol area.

A couple hours later they reunited, once again in Kuon’s classroom. They were alone, save for the moon’s silent observation in the twinkling night sky.

They were sharing some more drinks tonight and this time it was Kyoko’s treat. She had brought some _kirakira sake_ from Japan and they sipped it together. It was her favourite _sake_ due to its flavour and its sparkling, queenly packaging.

Kuon had impressed her by not commenting on the ‘childish’ packaging; he had just gratefully drank the cup she poured him. In the past, Sho had thrown fits about drinking the _kirakira sake_. He would drink all his alcohol and then complain when all he had left to drink was Kyoko’s “unmanly” _sake_. He complained to her about not stocking enough alcohol in their apartment, when she hardly ever drank. His unhappiness had always seemed to be her fault.

“Do you know what your boggart is?” Kuon interrupted her unhappy thoughts.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged, "I'm not deathly afraid of anything." She set her cup down and walked towards the wardrobe. “I guess we’ll find out.”

She waved her wand and the wardrobe opened. From its depths, Kyoko emerged.

It was Kyoko, but it wasn’t. The boggart-Kyoko looked identical to the real Kyoko, but she wore a _kimono_ Kuon had never seen before. She smiled cheerily. _Naïvely_ in a cotton-candy sweet, yet sickening way that Kuon had never seen on Kyoko’s face before (until now). 

The human Kyoko looked pale and ill. She seemed as though she was looking at a dementor rather than her doppelganger. Maybe she has a dead twin, Kuon speculated. Maybe Kyoko was the one that killed her. Perhaps murder and teaching are two things we have in common, Kuon thought before silently snorting at himself and cutting off this morbid line of thought.

Kyoko's wand stayed frozen, pointing at the boggart that advanced upon her.

“Sho is my prince!" Boggart-Kyoko chimed, clasping her hands together.

The real Kyoko winced, visibly recoiling.

"One day Sho and I are going to get married," Boggart-Kyoko said in a dreamy voice. "He's going to whisk me away and we'll live happily ever after."

Real Kyoko looked like she was going to puke. Kuon watched the tip of her wand tremble.

"I'm going to invite mom and she'll be so proud of me for marrying the man of my dreams!" Boggart-Kyoko seemed to grow more and more vapid with each word. Her eyes glittered and her cheeks were rosy. She was almost beautiful, Kuon thought. Beautiful in an abstract sense of the word, like seeing a thestral for the first time. It was a wonder to watch, but something terrible must happen for you to see it.

"Riddikulus."

The boggart's body swelled up and turned red, before becoming a daruma doll with a tiny patch of auburn hair on top. Kuon wordlessly sent it back into the wardrobe and turned back just in time to catch Kyoko as she collapsed to the floor. He gently helped her to a desk and she sat down heavily. Her hands had felt cold and clammy when he’d touched them, which was alarming from someone like Kyoko who seemed as though light and warmth followed in her every step.

Kuon crouched beside her so their eyes met. He reached for her hand but stopped at the last moment, grabbing onto the edge of the desk instead. "Are you okay?"

She shook her head and Kuon remained poker-faced despite the concern that welled up inside him.

"I don’t suppose you've ever reacted to your boggart like this?" Kyoko finally asked, with a tired and wry smile. She indulged in another sip of _sake_ and cringed when she saw her hands still trembling. Kuon pulled the cup from her cold fingers and set it on the desk, then gently took her hands in between his.

"I reacted badly to my boggarts at first too. Violently, in fact. Takarada didn't let me practice handling boggarts in a classroom for months."

At Kyoko's questioning look, Kuon supplied with a deadpan face, "I would damage the classroom and other school property."

Kyoko gasped. "How bad was the damage?"

Kuon began counting on his fingers and muttering to himself. "Defence against the Dark Arts classroom was my first one... My office… Takarada's office... The alcove on the third floor... or was it the fifth?"

Kyoko realized with a start that he was counting the number of rooms he had destroyed. She gaped and then smothered her laughter.

"I can't believe the Headmaster let you continue teaching at the school!"

Kuon paused before replying, almost sheepishly, "Well, I always restored anything I damaged." 

Kyoko burst out laughing.

Kuon sat at the desk next to hers and crossed his arms. “Are you done yet?”

She took one look at his expression and began laughing all over again. Her belly ached and there were tears in her eyes. How far Kuon had fallen from her initial perception of him! This poker-faced, colleague, menace and drinking friend always had another side of himself to reveal. Kyoko deeply felt that she had no grasp on him, except that he cared about his students and Hogwarts. She wondered what he thought about her. She wondered how much more she could learn about him.

The night was long and altogether too short as they continued draining glasses of sake together. Kuon told her more about his early teaching years— the stress of having to teach O.W.L. and N.E.W.T. students and how he wanted to do right by them.

“I do my best to prepare them for everything, in both exams and life,” Kuon paused, looking down his hands on the desk and pulling at his watch strap. The cool leather circled his wrist and weighed it down. “The wizarding world can be a very dangerous place.”

He remembered a cold winter night, not unlike the current one. He had been a young, talented auror with his mentor, Rick, hunting down the head of a dark wizarding gang. Their tip had led them to a part of London where muggle businesses clustered, but in the twilight hours the streets were empty. The cobblestone streets reflected the light from street lamps while Kuon and Rick moved towards an address not shown on any visible home. Supposedly, the dark wizard was in a home protected by a secret-keeper. Rick and Kuon’s job that night was to observe and collect information.

It hadn’t been Kuon’s first stake-out, but it was the first and only one of Kuon’s assignments to go so damnably wrong. 

“You can’t prepare them for everything.” Kyoko’s quiet words interrupted Kuon’s traumatic memory reel.

She had wrapped her arms around herself, and her mind seemed far, far away. “You can study as much as you can and do your best at everything, but you can’t prepare for a lot. Like how much it hurts when someone leaves you,” Kyoko smiled bitterly. “I understand that very well,”

At Kuon’s silent, questioning look, Kyoko supplied, “My boyfriend and my mother.” She paused to collect herself. “I was willing to do anything for them. For my mother, I really did the unthinkable as her daughter. For _him_...” she glared at the table intensely. “The man that used to be my lover and before that, my ‘closest friend’. He left me for fame and better women, even though I was willing to do everything and anything for him.” The words rolled off her tongue, unburdening her as if she were Sisyphus finally permitted to allow his stone to roll away.

“Love,” she said in a guttural tone. “Love is the destruction of human dignity. I am so ashamed of my past self. That boggart,” Kyoko pointed at the silent wardrobe, “represents how my biggest fear is turning back into who I used to be. An infatuated _fool_.” She turned her face away and the shadows hid her expression from Kuon.

Fury bloomed hot and dark within his chest. What kind of person mistreated their significant other to the point that love became akin to ‘the destruction of human dignity’?

“Your ex-boyfriend was a right bastard,” Kuon said acidly.

“He sure was. He was my childhood friend for a decade and then we dated for four years of my youth… A youth that will never be returned to me.” Fury and frustration emanated from Kyoko as she said these words.

“I broke up with him when I was nineteen, but I should have done it _much_ earlier,” Kyoko drank from her glass. “I now know he treated me terribly, but at the time, I was too blind to see it. I…” Kyoko hesitated, then whispered, “I can’t metamorph anymore because of him.”

When she had still been with Sho, he had constantly asked for her to change herself to suit his tastes. And Kyoko, the ever devoted girlfriend, had been so willing to please him. ‘Anything and everything’ had been the limitless limit of things she’d do for him.

 _Longer legs. Larger breasts. Curvier hips. Larger eyes. Paler skin. Rounder butt._

Even now she could hear his voice whispering demands to her. It echoed nightmarishly in her brain like her very own circle of hell— Sho’s voice on loop telling her what he wanted (what she wasn’t). Consequently, the more Kyoko changed, the more she realized he wasn’t attracted to her at all. The more Kyoko did for him, the more she undid herself.

Breaking up with Sho had been a cruel awakening. In the months that followed, Kyoko had stared at herself in the mirror everyday, facing how she had reduced herself for him.

Kyoko was a flower whose petals had been plucked and thrown down to decorate Sho’s path to his bright future, solo onstage. A red carpet made of the soul she had rolled out for him to step all over, and he had crushed her underfoot without looking back.

“You metamorphed at the quidditch game,” Kuon said. “Was that a fluke?”

“That was involuntary. Nowadays, using my metamorphmagus gift makes my skin feel slimy.”

“How come?”

“My ex-boyfriend, Sho, would ask me to change myself to suit his visual or sexual tastes and I would try to make all his fantasies come true.”

Kuon clenched his fists as anger boiled within him. He was on the verge of tracking the bastard down, international laws be damned, but he held himself back. This moment was for Kyoko to tell her story, not for him to act like some kind of prince charming she didn't need. He doubted she would appreciate any curses Kuon sent _Sho's_ direction, anyway. It had been four years since Kyoko and Sho had been a couple and now Kyoko was ready to close that chapter of her life and move on, or so Kuon hoped.

"So now, I don't transform anymore." Kyoko’s eyes stayed rooted to the desk. “I haven't for years, until that accident during the quidditch game." Venom filled Kyoko's voice as she said, "I hate my powers. For years I used them primarily for Sho's pleasure and now I’m disgusted when I transform. Besides, there's no need for me to metamorph as a professor. There’s no benefit or practical use. Everyone else performs their jobs just fine without this ‘gift’ so why do I need to use it at all?"

Kuon took a slow sip of sake and watched her without expression. "So you'll just continue letting Sho control you like this? Your gifts are your own. Your body, mind, and soul are your own. Why do you continue allowing Sho to have this power over you?"

Kyoko glared at Kuon. "Are you a wizard completely immune to the influence of others? The great Kuon Hizuri! Professor extraordinaire and auror prodigy, possessed by himself and only himself?" Kyoko mocked.

His eyes dropped to the silent watch on his left wrist. Its frozen hands joined as bloodless as his own felt. He wondered if they would ever move again by his own effort. Kuon’s memories of Rick making him unable to deny what Kyoko said. He sat, immobile and unable to reply as his own memories strangled him into silence.

The silence extended and grew heavy while Kuon sat completely still, as if his soul had escaped. He felt like cold marble when Kyoko reached forward and touched the back of his hand.

"Kuon?"

Through her fingertips, heat and warmth seeped into Kuon.

"Everyone… has a part of their youth they don't wish to recall." Kuon flipped his hand over and caught Kyoko's hand in his. Gently, he turned it face up and stroked the grooves on her palm. His finger trailed down her life line, then her love line. 

Love… How had Sho etched himself so deeply onto Kyoko that even with time and distance between them, Sho’s grip on Kyoko was still so strong? Kuon’s irritation sparked when he imagined a faceless Japanese man holding Kyoko tightly.

Unbeknownst to Kuon, Kyoko's face was flushed as he continued tracing a molten path down her palm. Her arm was tense and still as Kuon practically caressed her skin with his finger. 

However much she wanted to take her hand away, Kyoko couldn't. Whether it was the warmth of Kuon’s touch, or the intensity with which he studied her small pale hand in his larger one, Kyoko just couldn't bring herself to do it.

"Is palmistry something you're practiced in?" Kyoko finally asked.

"I learned a little bit here and there," was Kuon's reply, without stopping his methodical tracing.

Kyoko was vexed at his response and she stared at him for a full minute before sniffing. "Fine, keep your secrets.”

Kuon gazed up at her with his luminous green eyes. "Do you want to know my secrets? Do you want to know me?"

Now Kyoko pulled her hand from his and shot up from the chair. Her cheeks felt positively _on fire_. How on earth was she meant to reply to that!?

"It's late. I will return to my room now,” she squeaked and grabbed her sake bottle.

Kuon stood too. "I'll walk you."

"No!" Kyoko froze at her own outburst. "I mean, no… thank you." She walked backwards towards the door with one hand out as if Kuon were some sort of wild predator. Edging carefully down the narrow path between desks, Kyoko kept her eyes trained on Kuon. Her heart beat quickened at the sight of his handsome face— his eyes’ focus on her. She was on the precipice of something dangerous.

"Thank you, but I can find my own way back,” Kyoko said. As soon as she felt the classroom door hit her back, she squeaked out, "Good night!" and hurried back to her room.

Alone in his classroom, Kuon waited until he heard Kyoko’s agitated footsteps scurrying back to her room before releasing his laughter. The castle itself seemed to still in that moment as if the walls were trying to absorb that rare sound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: bi-weekly updates!  
> me @ me: why the fuck u lYING WHY U ALWAYS LYINNNN  
> anyway I hope this massive update makes up for how long it took D;;;  
> This fic is probly gonna be a long one! I'm so excited to write it, all I want to do is writeeeee  
> Also I joined nanowrimo b/c I wanna update more but a lot of writing + school + work doesn't leave much time for editting, which I must do to give yall stuff that is 'less garbage' and not 'absolute garbage' y e e haw  
> Stay safe and healthy everyone!


	4. In our time, in our turn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that gives comments, kudos or subscribes!!!  
> Yall fuel the fire beneath my ass to keep posting <3 <3 <3

The Winter Holidays were at their end. Some students had already begun returning to Hogwarts and Kyoko watched the castle fill with a happiness she had never experienced before. She was excited to teach her students and talk to them again. She was excited to resume lessons and read the essays of her good students and watch her bad students’ transfigurations go awry in the most creative ways as magic did what it was meant to...  _ Be magic. _

On the last day of the holidays, Kanae and Kyoko went to Hogsmeade for some supplies and butterbeer. Kyoko wanted to buy more beautiful and elegant stationery for the letters she sent back home to the Darumaya couple (they had mentored her for the course of her Transfiguration mastery) and Kanae had a book she wanted to pick up. Sen had been invited too, but she was in the infirmary once again. As Sen’s hospital wing visits grew more and more frequent and extended in duration, Kyoko had begun picking up more responsibilities as the other Hufflepuff professor. Kyoko was learning the ropes from other teachers, mainly relying on Kanae and Takarada since Sen was often bed-ridden and Kyoko was still dancing around Kuon.

As much as she enjoyed her friendship with Kuon, Kyoko could sense that their relationship was on the brink of something and she wasn’t sure she wanted to find out what was around the bend. As such, Kyoko was still currently doing her utmost to avoid him. Hogwarts’ sprawling grounds and complicated layout were good for hiding and this situation was highly motivating Kyoko’s exploration. In short, Kyoko was doing her utmost in all things— Hufflepuff professorial duties, avoiding Kuon, and traipsing through Hogsmeade with Kanae.

Hogsmeade was a welcome break from Kyoko’s other work and lots of fun. Kyoko had daydreamed many times about strolling arm-in-arm with Kanae down the snow covered lanes to Madam Puddifoot's gorgeous and elegant tea shop. They would sip tea daintily while Kanae told Kyoko everything about herself.

"You've got a strange look on your face again. It makes me uneasy," Kanae's sweet, deadpan voice said.

Kyoko pulled herself from her daydream with a sip of butterbeer and patted her lips with a napkin. Her and Kanae were not in Madam Puddifoot's dainty and fairytale-like cafe, but on the second floor of a lively pub that had its own charm— ‘the Three Broomsticks’. Outside their window, snowflakes gently danced down to the white dusted streets of Hogsmeade.

"I was just imagining us sipping tea together at Madam Puddifoot's," Kyoko said.

Kanae's entire face pinched with irritation and disgust. "I would never enter that place." Kanae knew Madam Puddifoot’s: frilly, pink, and very much clashing with her personal style. She took a swig of butterbeer and set it down with a firm thud, preparing for a long struggle with Kyoko over this matter.

Kyoko pouted and did her best puppy eyes at Kanae. "Aww come on… Maybe we could just go once? I've never been there before!"

"Go by yourself," Kanae grunted. "Or bring Kuon with you.”

Kyoko looked down and took a silent sip of her butterbeer.

"You know, I haven't seen you two as chatty lately…” Kanae stared at Kyoko and tilted her head. “How come?"

"Ah, well that's because, uh..." Kyoko laughed awkwardly and looked out the window as if her excuses would be on one of the colourful sign boards lining the street. An indigo advertisement of a singing rockstar, a poster for new candies, and a red poster with a crystal orb on it...

All of a sudden Kyoko stood up and slammed her hands down on the table. She hooked onto Kanae's arm and forcibly dragged her to the window, pointing down at the street. 

"Kanae! Kanae! Do you know what that is?!"

Kanae looked down even as her field of vision wobbled violently from Kyoko’s jostling. She saw what resembled a crystal ball with wisps of purple and red smoke curling around inside. The text read, "The Remembrall 8000! Now identifies what you've forgotten!"

"It's a Remembrall. They help the user remember if they've forgotten something and now apparently, it can also show the user what they've forgotten, like keys or your cloak." Kanae paused, looking over at her friend. "...Did you want to go down and take a look at them?" Kanae would never enter Puddifoot's shop; her pride and self-dignity wouldn't let her, but a tiny, tiny,  _ tiny _ bit of her perhaps felt bad for denying Kyoko's wishes. So at the very least, Kanae could do this for her friend. She would accompany Kyoko to this trinket shop even if she thought its wares were childish wastes of money.

To her surprise though, the Hufflepuff professor was no longer jittering with excitement and her grip on Kanae had relaxed considerably.

"I see. Keys or your cloak, huh? It helps you remember everyday objects. Nothing super complicated." Kyoko's smile was sad.

"Yes, it’s just a handy trinket for forgetful students." Kanae looked away and scratched the back of her head. "Like I said, if you want to take a closer look, I'll go with you. We're done our errands anyway."

Kanae looked back at the Remembrall advertisement and scowled at two students poking the indigo music poster next to it. She gulped the rest of her drink with astounding grace and slammed her tankard back down on the table. 

“Come on Kyoko, two students are about to graffiti a Hogsmeade store again. I swear if I get one more complaint…” Kanae scowled more fiercely than Kyoko had ever seen before and whipped her cloak on, disapparating out of the room with a crack.

“Wait up!” Kyoko cried, before gulping the rest of her butterbeer down too. She looked out the window to see Kanae striding through the snow. The two students seemed to have realized an angry professor was coming and were looking very anxious.

Kyoko turned on the spot and disapparated down to the street below as well. When she arrived, she took a step and slipped. As she tumbled backwards, she accidentally knocked into another wizard. He caught her in his arms and they both landed in the snow bank.

“Are you alright?” asked the wizard under her.

Kyoko looked down to see Kuon. She pulled herself out of his arms at once and stood shakily. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to crash into you!”

Kuon shook his head at her. “It’s fine.” He stood and brushed the snow off himself and looked at Kyoko. His eyes widened and he snorted, clapping a hand over his mouth.

“What is it?” She asked. Did she knock out one of his teeth by accident!?

Kuon reached forward and took Kyoko’s face gently in his hands, rubbing his gloved thumb across her upper lip. And then on the corners of her mouth, and her cheek, and her chin.

“You…You had butterbeer froth on your face,” he told her while making a very poor attempt at stifling his chuckles.

“Oh!” Kyoko looked at the dissolving white foam on Kuon’s black glove and blushed fiercely. She put her face in her hands. “Oh my goodness...” was all Kyoko could say. She wanted to roll around on the ground in embarrassment, but Hogsmeade was too crowded (and public). Thank goodness Kuon had caught her before she began scolding the students with  _ butterbeer froth _ all over her mouth! Perhaps the beverage was not as enjoyable as Kyoko had thought, if it led to these kinds of situations...

“Why were you in such a rush?” Kuon asked.

Kyoko lowered her hands. “Kanae saw some students graffitiing a Hogsmeade shop.”

Kuon’s face hardened, his expression cooling. He looked around and found Kanae standing with a pair of Ravenclaw students. “Let’s go.”

Kyoko nodded and took a deep breath, composing herself into some semblance of an authoritative professor before walking towards Kanae and her two Ravenclaw students with Kuon following closely behind.

The Ravenclaw girls seemed alarmed when they saw Kuon approaching. They seemed to be First-years. They both had long hair and were wrapped in matching, fluffy azure scarves. One of them wore a hairband.

“Professor Kotonami, we really weren’t doing anything! We were just admiring the poster!” The one with the hairband exclaimed.

“Yes Professor, we were just wondering if we could ask the shop owner for their poster—”

The girl wearing the hairband elbowed her friend in the side. 

“What!?” She looked back at Kanae. “We’re just really, really excited because we heard this artist might perform at the Celestial ball next year!”

“Yes, alright, I understand.” Kanae turned to Kyoko and Kuon. “You guys can go back ahead of me. I’ll go talk to the shop-owner with them—” 

The two girls squealed excitedly, grabbing onto each other’s hands and wiggling about.

“Oh and Professor Mogami, one more thing.” Kanae pulled Kyoko aside. “I don’t know why you and Kuon are so awkward right now but use this chance to patch it up.” Then, Kanae awkwardly gave Kyoko a pat on the back, pushing her towards Kuon.

Kanae walked away with the students, her back to Kyoko’s distraught expression. Kyoko’s eyes were gaping wide, eyebrows scrunched together as she watched her one friend— her last hope— walk away, ignorant of Kyoko’s unease. Kyoko’s arm twitched as if to grab Kanae and keep her from leaving. Within Kyoko were warring feelings of panic, anxiety, joy at Kanae’s consideration of her, and frustration at her unnecessary actions.

Now what?

Kuon cleared his throat behind Kyoko, clearly seeing her turmoil even with her back facing him. She turned around with an expression that was more of a grimace than a smile, but Kuon didn’t comment.

He offered his arm to her. “Shall we go?”

Kyoko pretended not to see it and walked past Kuon, crossing her arms tightly as if she was cold. They trekked back to the castle in silence, their shoulders brushing occasionally. The snow was no longer falling and Kuon and Kyoko’s footsteps remained solidly imprinted in the snow behind them, a pair of large shoe prints next to small shoe prints step by step. There were other tracks on the path, faded twisting lines of students that had trekked back and forth since morning. Now in the late afternoon, there were only a few students heading back, either far behind or ahead of the Slytherin and Hufflepuff teacher duo. Between them, the silence was filled by the giggling and chattering of those adolescents enjoying their final day of break.

“The students are truly making the most of their final day of break,” Kuon began. “Those Ravenclaws too, especially. I wonder if Kanae managed to get them the poster?” He asked his question out loud to the grey, wintry sky.

Next to him, Kyoko smiled. “Of course she did!  _ I  _ could never refuse Kanae anything.” With an intense look on her face, Kyoko added, “I swear if she asked for my wand nicely enough, I’d probably give it to her.”

Kuon chuckled. “You may not be able to refuse her anything, but I bet that shop-owner could. I doubt that poster was cheap, so I can’t imagine the Ravenclaws getting it for free.”

Kyoko scoffed. “Of course I know I could never refuse Kanae anything but I— it’s Kanae! How could  _ anyone _ refuse—”

Kyoko stopped in the snow and turned to Kuon with her hands on her hips. “I just think that as a Ravenclaw, she’ll be able to use her wit—” Kyoko poked Kuon in the chest with her index finger— “and cleverness—” she poked him again and he caught her finger in one hand, raising an eyebrow at her but she plowed on— “to persuade the shop-owner into giving them the poster gratis.”

“Oh? Is that so?”

“Yes!” Kyoko huffed completely defensive of her Ravenclaw friend’s capabilities. “And in the  _ unlikely _ case that Kanae fails, well, you have two very bright students there. I’m sure no shop-owner could refuse them in the face of their burning passion for that artist.”

“What makes you so certain?”

“Well, I had a similar experience when I was young…” Kyoko’s eyes drifted from Kuon and her positive excitement suddenly became a dark glower. “For me it was a poster board cutout. Sho’s debut. I saw that person everyday at home, but I still tried my hardest to get it.” Kyoko sneered, looking somewhere to her right. “What’s even so good about his ugly mug? Nothing,” she seemed to say to herself. “I’m so glad my eyes are clear and I can see that piece of trash for what he really is, honestly…”

Kyoko suddenly looked up and seemed to remember herself once she saw Kuon. “Oh, what am I even saying! Come on let’s get back to the castle, then we can stop casting warming charms every five minutes.” She grabbed his sleeve and tugged him forward.

Kuon removed his own thick, woolen emerald scarf and looped it around Kyoko. He pulled it snug and said, “Here. Maybe next time you’ll dress properly for the weather.” 

Despite his warm actions, his thoughts were elsewhere. So Kyoko and Sho had lived together...

Kyoko looked down at the scarf and touched it gently with her fingers. The scarf smelled like him.

In contrast to the new warmth around her neck, Kyoko’s face remained cold and stoic. Inside her chest though, her heart was beating clandestinely out of rhythm. There was a dangerous seesaw of emotions happening as her body teetered between dread and desire. In her mind’s eye, Kyoko could see the edge of her self-control nearing. Falling meant opening her heart again— something she had promised herself she would never do, in the wake of the absolute destruction Sho had wrought upon her heart.

But Sho had been an existence in her life years ago. Was she not recovered? Was she not wiser, stronger, smarter? Kyoko was her own person now and she had self-respect. No one would make a fool of her again. No one would lead Kyoko by nose and heart to an undignified position; Kyoko was determined to be stronger than that. 

No one would be allowed to wholly possess her heart like Sho again. But maybe just a little…

Kyoko tucked her chin into the scarf and inhaled deeply, hiding her smile. Maybe it would be okay if she gave Kuon just a little bit.

* * *

They returned to the castle and the moment they walked in, they heard Professor Murasame’s loud voice greet them. 

“Kuon! Kyoko! You’re back!” He smiled. His hair was charmingly windswept as always, and he flung his bangs aside as he swaggered up to them. He stopped in front of Kyoko and began dusting snow off her shoulders for her. “Hogsmeade must have been a sight with the snow everywhere! Did you enjoy seeing it for the first time, Kyoko?”

“Ah, I, yes,” Kyoko awkwardly made to move away from Murasame’s hands, but he had already finished patting her shoulders. “It wasn’t my first time in Hogsmeade, but it was my first time seeing it so covered in snow.”

“Really!” Murasame pumped his eyebrows at Kuon with a smirk while Kyoko fixed her scarf. Unaware that Kuon’s frigid expression wasn’t just due to the winter air, Murasame leaned in towards Kyoko who startled at his new proximity. “Next time you’re free I’ll take you to the best spots. I can get you some secret menu items at The Three Broomsticks. You’re going to love them,” he winked.

The idea that Murasame was flirting did not cross her mind. Kyoko paused, wondering if Kanae would know those secret menu items too. Would she even want to try them with her? Kyoko would love to acquire some recipe ideas to cook for the Darumaya couple when she returned to Japan.

“Sorry Murasame,” Kuon smoothly put his arm around Kyoko’s shoulders. “I need to discuss something with Kyoko urgently right now. She’s joining my class tomorrow and there are some logistical things to go over.” He smiled at Murasame before turning his head to Kyoko. “Shall we?”

“Sure—” Kyoko began and was immediately propelled forward towards the staircase. Kuon’s legs were graceful and his pace felt unhurried, even though the two of them were moving  _ very  _ quickly towards the Grand Staircase. She could even feel a breeze blowing her bangs from her face as Kyoko hurried to match Kuon’s pace, captured as she was in the cradle of his left arm.

Behind them, Murasame’s expression turned reflective and then slightly annoyed as he observed the large emerald scarf around Kyoko’s neck and  _ Kuon’s arm _ that was wrapped around Kyoko’s shoulders. Was Kuon after Kyoko as well? The Gryffindor professor smirked. Taira Murasame never backed down from a challenge. 

In Kuon’s classroom once again, Kyoko said, “Were there other details we needed to discuss for your boggart lesson tomorrow? I thought everything had been sorted before the break.”

Kuon’s back was turned to Kyoko as he hung his coat in the corner. His mind was still on Taira. That guy was getting awfully confident and forward. Kuon remembered the way Taira had touched Kyoko’s shoulders and breached her space without a thought. He would need to do something about this issue. Taira’s continued attention on Kyoko was irritating. 

“Kuon?”

What would be the most efficient way to send a signal to Taira? What would deal the cleanest blow? Questions whirled and schemes began forming in Kuon’s mind as he stood at the coat peg, oblivious to Kyoko’s questions.

“Kuon,” Kyoko said and touched his shoulder.

He turned around to face her and she peered up at him with curious eyes.

“Did you hear me?”

“Ah no, sorry.”

“I asked if there were other details we needed to discuss. Didn’t we finish it all during the break already?”

“Ah well,” Kuon sat down at his and opened a drawer. He pulled out a small piece of parchment and his quill. In large, crisp, neat letters he wrote:  **TEACHER OBSERVER** , and handed it to Kyoko. “Don’t forget to stick this on the front of your robes tomorrow.”

Kyoko looked down at the paper, back to Kuon, and then back down to the paper again with. With a deadpan face she said, “This was the urgent detail we had to discuss?”

Kuon leaned back in his chair and clasped his hands together in his lap. Without a hint of remorse he replied, “It’s very urgent. What if you’re mistaken for a student skipping out on class?”

Kyoko’s jaw dropped and Kuon could practically see cartoonish smoke shooting from her ears. “You’re unbelievable! I’ve been working here, living here for four months now—” she held up four fingers and shook them angrily at Kuon— “Four months! I’ve been teaching students from First-year all through Seventh-year! I know I’m new, but by now I should think they’d recognize me!”

“You’re very short you know.”

“Short!” Kyoko fumed as Kuon restrained his laughter. “I’ll have you know I EXUDE the aura of a teacher. I practically SECRETE teacher pheromones!” she huffed.

“And that’s how teachers are recognized in your mind?” Kuon gasped, still attempting to restrain himself. “From the  _ phermones they secrete? _ ” 

“I— Well—” A red flush rose in Kyoko’s cheeks but still she stood firm. “Yes. To an extent.”

Kuon burst out laughing at Kyoko’s determined face and Kyoko cracked too. She chuckled a bit and soon the two of them were laughing together loudly in his classroom, tears streaming from their eyes. The absolute ridiculousness of their conversation trapping them in laughter as if they had both drank a pint of Gigglewater. 

With faux-seriousness, Kuon pointed at his scarf around Kyoko’s neck. “Tell me, does that scarf’s odour indicate that I’m a very professional and very seasoned teacher?”

Kyoko took a very deliberate sniff and responded equally seriously, “No, I’m afraid all I smell is nutrition deficiency from poor eating habits.”

Kuon looked at her aghast before the two of them burst out laughing all over again.

There was a knock on Kuon’s classroom door and a Hufflepuff Fifth-year entered the classroom to see his Defence Against the Dark Arts professor and his Transfiguration professor both gasping for breath, flushed in the face, hair slightly wild and if he wasn’t mistaken— tears in their eyes?

His eyes widened and his feet began edging back out to the hallway immediately, ready to escape at once. This was an alarming sight. Especially Professor Hizuri, who was known to be serious and strict, albeit a good teacher. He could count on one hand the number of times he had seen this Professor crack a semi-smile. 

“It’s fine,” Kuon gasped as he tried to regain his breath. “It’s fine Shinichi, you can come on in.”

“Sorry sir, I just had some questions about my last essay.”

Kyoko tugged her robes slightly to seem a bit more put together. She put the ‘Teacher observer’ parchment back on Kuon’s desk and turned to leave. “I won’t bother you two then. Go ahead, Shinichi.” She smoothed her hair and walked to the classroom door, smiling at the befuddled boy as she passed him.

Kyoko opened the door but before she could leave, Kuon said from behind her, “Kyoko you forgot this!” 

She turned around and caught the fluttering parchment Kuon had scrawled on earlier. He smiled pleasantly at her. She scowled down at it and imagined herself making an immature face at Kuon. Outwardly though, with great awareness of the student that stood there glancing between them, Kyoko just smiled back and thanked Kuon before shutting the door gently behind her.

To the shut door, Kyoko made the exact face she had wanted to give Kuon before breathing deeply and returning to her quarters. She didn’t realize it herself, but the entire walk back to her room, she had a smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I know yall wanted the boggart classroom part but that's next chapter I PROMISEEEEEE!! <3 <3 and since my classes end Wednesday I should be posting soon?? I hope???? life is ruff but so is the pacing of Skip Beat so i need to write this to sustain myself (and the beautiful souls that read this fic)  
> AND  
> Do yall prefer frequent updates or long updates? lmk!


	5. You are loving and gentle and good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO MY LOVELIES!!! <3 <3 <3 I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONGGGGG  
> Thank you SOSOSO much to everyone that comments, kudos, bookmarks or subscribes!! Yall really keep me going.  
> I hope yall have a happy, safe and healthy 2021 :)

The day of the boggart lesson arrived and as planned, Kyoko showed up to Kuon’s class a bit early during her free block. She rapped on the door twice before entering. Kuon was at his desk marking essays and looked up when she opened the door. He set his quill back in the inkwell and stood, crossing his arms.

“You’re not wearing the sticker I made you?” he asked.

Kyoko, who had been smiling pleasantly in an effort to reconcile with her colleague, scowled. “Of course not,” she sniffed, shutting the door behind her.

“Well, that’s too bad. The parchment I wrote on was actually a gift voucher: a lunch set for two at Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop.”

“Kuon!” Kyoko cried out, her eyes rounded and wide with betrayal. “Why didn’t you say something like that earlier! I thought it was just a piece of rubbish... If I had known, I could have gone there with—”

Kuon stilled.

“ —Kanae!” Kyoko finished. 

Kuon exhaled. He frowned as tension born from expectancy, _anticipation_ even, released from his body.

Students began entering the room and Kyoko had no choice but to put aside her feelings for the moment. The Hufflepuffs entered mostly in pairs and trios as they came from their respective elective classes. There were some solitary students, but they joined up quickly with their friends once they arrived.

To Kyoko’s surprise, there was a distinct sense of distance between the Hufflepuffs and Kuon. Unlike Professor Murasame’s class, there were no students that jovially went up to Kuon and struck a conversation during the spare minutes before class. The Third-year Hufflepuffs weren’t particularly introverted, so Kyoko was slightly baffled by this observation. The classroom’s atmosphere wasn’t uncomfortably tense, nor was it warm and friendly. More students greeted Kyoko when they entered than Kuon. Perhaps this was another Hogwarts house culture that she just didn’t understand yet?

The students put their bags on the floor or on the desks that were shoved against the classroom’s walls. Kyoko was seated in a corner behind the students, who were standing in the center of the classroom and facing the boggart wardrobe. They seemed both excited and scared, but there was a definite air of nervousness about the young Hufflepuffs..

“As you all know, Professor Mogami is joining us today.” Kuon said. The students’ chattering quickly died off and he continued. “I will remind you all that she is here solely to observe the boggart’s transformations. Not your spellcasting ability, your wand movement, or your pronunciation of the spell you're learning today. That is what I’ll be doing, of course.”

Kyoko felt quite spellbound when she watched Kuon handling his class. He was charismatic, steady, and confident. His authority in the classroom was unquestionable and all his students were attentive even at his precursory speaking. Kuon was a professor that commanded attention.

Kyoko couldn’t help but compare her own class’s reception of her teaching to his. She had her students under control, but they were hardly attentive in the way Kuon’s students were. She dipped her quill in ink and wrote her first note: ‘ _commands attention - > how?’ _

She would indeed be studying the boggart today, but Kyoko intended to escape with some of Kuon’s teaching techniques too.

“Today we are learning the banishing spell for boggarts, creatures that can transform into your worst fear.” Kuon waved his hand to indicate the wardrobe next to his desk that he was half-seated on. “Boggarts tend to enjoy hiding in dark, confined spaces and may give away their presence by rattling, shaking or scratching sounds.” As if in response, the wardrobe doors suddenly shook, straining the lock on its handles and some students flinched. “Remember, boggarts don’t really cause harm, besides some psychological trouble that comes from frightening you, so don’t worry too much. This creature is easy enough to deal with as long as you can keep calm... But even the most experienced wizards can have trouble with that.”

He paused and surveyed his class as he let that information sink in. “Now, the spell is ‘ _Riddikulus_ ’,” Kuon enunciated. “Let’s say it all together. 1, 2, 3.”

The class collectively chanted “ _Riddikulus._ ”

Kuon nodded and pushed himself up from the casual way he had been half-perched on his desk. “Good. And this is the wand motion,” he waved his wand in a slow, deliberate motion, tracing a V in the air, then sliding down into a deep U underneath it. 

The students practiced the motions themselves and Kuon walked around, fixing the angle of some students’ wrists and fixing the wand angle of others. When he seemed satisfied, he returned to the front of the class and collectively practiced the chant and wand motion one more time separately, then he asked for a volunteer.

A girl named Penny Haywood stepped up. Kyoko appreciated this student because she often volunteered during her classes. She had golden hair and a very bright smile. Although at that moment, her smile seemed more akin to a determined grimace.

When Haywood walked to the front of the class, Kuon put his hand on her shoulder and the two of them faced away from the rest of the class. Kyoko couldn’t see what Kuon said to her, but at the end Haywood seemed more relaxed. She smiled with confidence and stood readily in front of the wardrobe.

Kuon turned back towards the rest of the class. “Now, all of you will confront the boggart. Any students that have requested to do this exercise privately may stand next to Professor Kyoko now.”

Two students, a pale boy and a downcast girl walked over next to Kyoko. She smiled warmly at them both, summoning a chair for each of them. 

The Hufflepuffs had all gotten in a line behind Penny, with the first student in line standing a good two metres behind the golden-haired girl. 

“Haywood, when I release the boggart you will perform the spell and then step to the side. Then the next person steps up and so on. Now remember students, a key part to this spell is your own imagination— visualizing your boggart turning into something humorous.” He stepped away from Haywood. “Are you ready?”

Penny nodded and Kuon waved his wand. As soon as the wardrobe unlocked, a blurry form burst out. Penny gasped, nearly falling over at the terrifying sight in front of her. The boggart had transformed into a gigantic wolf, with a bloody maw and deadly, vicious eyes. It was hulking and Penny seemed horribly transfixed, frozen and only growing pale as the werewolf stalked closer. 

The students behind her seemed similarly petrified at how vivid the transformation was. Meanwhile, Kyoko was gleefully scribbling away notes on the boggart’s transformation in her little corner. The quill raced across her parchment as Kyoko jotted down as many details as she could. She would probably never get such a large sample size of students to record boggart observations from ever again. (Kyoko had been tempted to use a quick-quotes quill, but she figured her speaking would have interrupted the lesson.)

_Student 1 (ST1): werewolf_

_-visual detail: blood - > from ST memory? ST gore fear? _

_-smell: no distinct smell - > smell not associated with fear? boggarts cannot transmorph smell? i am too distant from boggart to smell? _

_-sound: very real growling - > the interior of the boggart must morph to also match the interior of a werewolf to create growling sounds or… _

Kyoko’s frantic quill suddenly blotted the page when Kuon’s voice said, “Haywood.” His voice cut through the stream of thoughts in Kyoko’s mind and she looked up. He hadn’t moved an inch and was watching his student with expectation. 

Haywood glanced at him, swallowed and nodded. She raised her wand and enunciated perfectly, “ _Riddikulus”._

The werewolf suddenly shrank and shrank and shrank, its fur lightening in colour until all that was left was an adorable, incredibly chubby corgi. It barked. 

The entire class cooed, “Awwww,” but once again Kuon’s voice through his student’s disorder. “Next.”

Haywood dashed behind Kuon and another student stepped up. The class now watched as the corgi’s spine lengthened and its colour saturated, legs fusing into its body and ears fusing into its skull until what remained was a giant, king cobra. 

“ _Riddikulus!”_ the student yelled.

The cobra’s head swelled up until it became like a balloon. The cobra’s hissing became the sound of a balloon deflating and the cobra sank to the floor like an abandoned balloon animal.

“Good.” Kuon said. “Next.”

The class proceeded while Kyoko frantically frantically. The boggart’s capacity for interpreting fears and solidifying them was astounding. Kyoko made a hasty note to talk to Murasame about it later, scribbling **‘** **_Murasame!_ **’ with a star next to his name. Given that he was the Care for Magical Creatures professor, she hoped he could answer some of her questions in relation to boggart biology or at least refer her to some good academic texts.

As more and more students finished challenging the boggart, their curiosity naturally drew them towards Kyoko’s corner. It was a corner of suffocating intensity, with the entirety of Kyoko’s form radiating a nearly violent focus with her furious notetaking as her quill whipped left and right across the parchment. Some students picked up the trailing parchment on the floor and attempted to decipher it, while others could not tear their eyes away from Kyoko’s academic storm.

From the front of the class, Kuon noticed the pack of students surrounding this colleague. Despite any insecurities Kyoko may have possessed as a new professor, it was clear to Kuon how her passion and drive drew people to her, earning her students’ admiration and respect. He watched her flurried movements with warmth. Kuon only realized his attention had strayed when something slammed into his classroom window and his head snapped away from Kyoko’s fierce countenance. 

Kyoko lifted her head too and to their shock, it was First-year Maria Takarada on a broom, rapping frantically on Kuon’s window pane. All the students stared at Maria in shock, whose brown hair was being wildly blown across her face by the strong wind. 

Kyoko realized Maria had to be dozens of feet above the ground and put her quill down hastily, scrambling to the window. At the same moment, Kuon wordlessly sent the boggart back into the wardrobe and with a stern gaze he turned to his students. “Hold on a moment. Stay where you are.”

The Hufflepuffs were itching to rush to the windows but Kuon’s stern look had frozen them in place. 

Kyoko threw open the window and her long roll of parchment was blown off her desk. Some Hufflepuffs rushed to grab it, but the most recent words were smeared already. 

“Miss Takarada! What on earth—” 

“Professor Mogami! Professor Hizuri! Professor Yoshimoto, she’s been cursed! My class is at the Flying Grounds now. Please come help!” The young Gryffindor was agitated and her broom swerved wildly when a particularly strong gust swept by her. Kuon and Kyoko lunged through the window at the same moment to grab her robes, leaning out the window side by side. Kyoko could feel the warmth of Kuon’s torso pressed up against hers.

They looked at each other and pulled Maria into the classroom in unison. Maria jumped off her broom onto the classroom floor and looked at them with raw anxiety, grabbing onto their sleeves and tugging them towards the door.

“Please come quick! Professor Yoshimoto she—”

“Hold on Maria,” Kyoko calmly interrupted. “Did you see what curse Professor Yoshimoto was hit with? Has another student fetched the Hospital Matron yet?”

Maria shifted uneasily on her feet while she answered, “Yes another student went for Miss Woods but we knew if it was a curse, Professor Hizuri would probably be able to help too. His classroom was closer than Miss Woods too so I flew here right away.”

“Is everyone else still in the Greenhouse with Professor Yoshimoto?”

Maria nearly stomped with agitation. “I wasn’t in Herbology! Professor Yoshimoto was just watching over our flying lesson for a moment when she started turning red and green and screaming in pain!”

The professors looked at each other. Kyoko bore naked worry for her colleague while Kuon seemed deeply concerned. He had never heard of, nor seen a curse like what Maria was describing. He gave the smallest headshake to Kyoko, who paled.

The Third-Years’ muttering rose in volume with their worry. Yoshimoto was their head of house, and like another mother to most of them. Her comforting presence was irreplaceable and the thought of her cursed and injured had the students thoroughly agitated.

“Was anyone else cursed?” Kuon asked.

Maria shook her head vigorously and both professors sighed in relief.

“Where are the students now?” Kyoko asked.

“Everyone should still be at the Training Grounds.”

Kyoko drew in a sharp breath while Kuon asked urgently, “Why didn’t they leave? What if the attacker is still nearby?”

Maria looked at them with helpless frustration. “We couldn’t just leave Professor Yoshimoto in danger! We couldn’t pull her away to somewhere safe either because of her screaming and everything so we all stayed to watch and protect her.”

Kuon’s expression turned dark and Maria looked at the floor.

Kyoko pulled on Kuon’s shoulder and the professors turned towards each other, leaning in close. Kuon felt Kyoko’s breath on his cheek as she spoke. 

“I’ll go to the students first. I can get there faster in my animagus form.”

Kuon looked at her sharply. “No, I’m the one with auror training.” he leaned in even closer and Kyoko held back a shiver at the tension in his undertone. “I don’t know how an attacker got into Hogwarts but for now it’s better if we stick together.”

Kyoko shook her head. “We’re wasting time. As you know, I’m not useless at defensive magic and we can’t leave a class of First-Years by themselves! I’m going.”

Kuon grabbed her wrist tightly and met her eyes. She didn’t know what he was searching for in her expression— fear? Hesitation? He would find none of it with her. She possessed only firm resolve. Kyoko took Kuon’s hand off her wrist and squeezed it once. 

“I’ll be fine. Let’s hurry to the students.” 

She turned towards the window and suddenly vanished. A brilliant orange and black monarch butterfly went out the window, fluttering out of sight. 

Behind Kuon, the class was quiet. He turned towards them and said, “Everyone stay here. I will ward the classroom behind me before I leave. It’s unlikely that an attacker has made it onto Hogwarts grounds, but you should still stay in this classroom for the time being for safety.” Kuon’s serious tone left no room for questions and the Hufflepuffs all stepped closer together. 

“Stay together and stay calm,” Kuon said with one last look over his students then he surged to the door, wrenching it open and only paused to call for Maria to follow. She had still been clutching her broom in the middle of the classroom, completely frozen in place by Kuon’s imperious words. The students only saw Kuon waving his wand in complicated motions as the door shut.

* * *

If Kyoko had to describe what it felt to be a butterfly in three words, she would say, small, light and free. She coasted on the strong wind as she spiralled down towards the First Years, until finally returning to her human form and descending onto the lawn. 

To the First Years, Professor Mogami seemed to appear out of thin air. When she landed on the grass a dozen spells and shouts soared towards her and Kyoko effortlessly cast a silent _Protego_ against the First Year spells. Their eyes widened when they saw who it was. 

“Professor! Where did you come from!”

“Professor Mogami we’re so sorry! We didn’t know it was you!”

“Professor please come help us!!”

“Are you alright, Professor?!”

Kyoko waved away their concerns and hurried over to where the Gryffindor students had formed a circle around Yoshimoto, their backs to her and wands out. Kyoko was caught between praising their bravery in protecting Yoshimoto and worry for the risk they had put themselves in. 

The Hufflepuff professor was lying on the ground with mottled red and green rings on her skin, as if suction cups had been stuck all over her body and removed violently. The saturated colour of the rings contrasted harshly with the pale, bloodless hue of Yoshimoto’s skin. Kyoko surveyed the students and noted they all seemed fine. 

“How many students are in this class?”

“24, professor.” A boy piped up.

Kyoko counted their heads and was relieved to find twenty-two First-Years present. She knew the other two were Maria and the one that had gone to fetch the Hospital Matron. Kyoko cast strong protection charms over their group once she knew all her students were accounted for. The Gryffindors watched in awe as golden light streaked out of Kyoko’s wand tip and spilled into the shape of a golden dome that descended around them. With the students’ safety now secured, Kyoko turned to Yoshimoto. 

Before, Maria had described Yoshimoto was screaming, but now Kyoko looked down at the silent body of her friend. She pointed the wand at Yoshimoto’s chest and uttered, “ _Rennervate_.”

Yoshimoto’s eyes flew open and Kyoko flinched at their bloodshot quality. The woman gasped and panted. Her airway seemed congested and she struggled with every breath. 

Kyoko knelt down beside her, relieved to see she was alive and horrified at the agony Yoshimoto seemed to be feeling. She keenly felt her lack of first aid knowledge as she began speaking the healing incantations she knew. 

Kyoko directed her wand at Yoshimoto’s throat and said, “ _Anapneo_ ,” a spell that would vanish any object in her airway.

Yoshimoto’s breaths continued having a choking quality to them. The spell had been useless. Kyoko’s heart was racing and cold sweat trickled down her back as she tried to draw upon any healing spells she knew to help Yoshimoto.

A purple light shot form Kyoko’s spell as she said, “ _Reparifors,_ ” a spell meant for healing minor magically-induced ailments. The indigo ray barely brushed Yoshimoto’s skin before vanishing. It had no effect. The painful suction markings on Yoshimoto’s skin were still vivid. 

“ _Episkey_!” Kyoko said with barely concealed desperation. A single suction mark shrunk back into Yoshimoto’s skin briefly, before popping back out with an even more angry red colour. Yoshimoto released a strangled cry and Kyoko winced.

She looked back at the castle and took a shaky breath when she saw none of her colleagues had reappeared yet. Fortunately the attacker seemed to have fled the scene as well. Kyoko rolled up her sleeves and began attempting a variety of Japanese healing spells, but their effects were similarly short-lived. Kyoko’s distress and the students’ worry mounted.

“Professor! The Hospital Matron and Professor Hizuri are here!”

Kyoko looked up sharply and the relief she felt upon seeing Kuon was as palpable as the air she breathed. Next to him was a short young woman with a tall ponytail and curly brown hair. Miss Woods was a young, feisty and outstandingly bright mediwitch. She was one of the first faculty members Headmaster Takarada had hired when he took over Hogwarts. 

Kuon’s sleeves were rolled up and his gaze was sharp. He put an arm out in front of Miss Woods who glared up at him while he surveyed the terrain. His wand arm flexed as he sought out the attacker. 

Kuon did another 360 before finally meeting Kyoko’s eyes and lifting his arm. Miss Woods huffed before darting onto the field at a rapid jog with Kuon right behind her, an intimidating protective shadow at her back. Kyoko dispelled her protection charm and Miss Woods dropped down next to her. 

“All the students here are unharmed. Yoshimoto seems to be the only casualty,” Kyoko said.

Kuon gave her a tight nod but Miss Woods was already looking away, running her wand over Yoshimoto, performing diagnosis charms. Kyoko gave Miss Woods a rundown of all the spells she’d attempted. 

The young Transfiguration professor was on the brink of crying from helplessness in the face of Yoshimoto’s pain. Her emotions were barely held in check by the First-Years’ eyes that sought comfort from her as their teacher and a figure of authority and calm. Kuon stepped behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. Kyoko rose from her crouch, pulling him from the students and mediwitch.

“I tried everything I knew. Have you ever seen anything like this?”

Kuon’s warm hand dropped away from her shoulder and he shook his head. “I can contact my auror friend to see if he’s had any experience with something like this but right now, Miss Woods and St. Mungo’s are probably the best things for Yoshimoto.”

Kuon’s eyes were on Kyoko, who slowly pulled herself away from staring at Yoshimoto’s body lying prone on the field. When she met his gaze, he saw her deep brown eyes filled with worry and in that moment he wanted nothing more than to embrace her and pull her away from this sight, this situation. 

  
Kuon was used to it— the crime, injury, wounds, uncertainty and danger. His years as an auror and _his past_ made him a man well-prepared for this but Kyoko… He ached to pull her away from this and close her eyes to the ugliness but another part, deep inside of him, ached to do the exact opposite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to post this *last year* right after my finals but then life got really hectic ;-;  
> My updates r still gonna be kinda slow cuz my course load this term is heavier but I will continue doing my best!!! There's still so much to this fucking WEIRD story (i can't believe yall actually read it and like it??? omg) aaahhh

**Author's Note:**

> *Ōkabamadara (japanese) = Monarch butterfly


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